Simon Cowell and New York socialite, and wife of Cowell’s friend Andrew Silverman, Lauren Silverman, are expecting a baby together.

News broke of the American Idol judge’s impending fatherhood with the 36-year-old today. Silverman and her husband have been estranged, and are now moving forward with an official divorce. Sources say that it was during the married pair’s separation that Cowell and Silverman grew close.

The infamous loudmouth has previously sounded off about his lack of desire for children, saying he could not afford the necessary time to raising them properly due to his busy schedule. Recently, however, the 52-year-old changed his tune, saying he would like children, but fears his focus on his career in the music industry ate up all the time he could have used to build a home.

Cowell’s reported change of heart about starting a family is a good sign, but many questions remain. Most importantly, how did this romantic union begin? In order to explore the answer, let’s take a look at ten of Cowell’s most memorable quotes, and ponder how some of these witty similes would sound in the bedroom.

Here are 10 sexy quotes from Simon Cowell, accompanied by imaginative narrative musings!

10. “Very simple. I’m putting up the money, and I also have ears.” (in an interview with USA Today )

Simon Cowell loves the ladies, especially if they are married to his good friends. I guess wealth and hearing are the qualities Cowell is advertising on the dating scene.

9. “There’s a lot of junk in that trunk.” (about The X Factor contestant Lexa Berman)

Awww, how sweet Simon! But don’t make Lauren blush!

8. “If you imagine Madonna, Bobby Brown, and Dracula had a child it would be you. But in a weird way I quite like you.” (to The X Factor contestant Quatrele Da’an Smith)

He’s got me there. Despite Cowell’s notorious mean streak, he can be quite sweet when he wants to. What girl doesn’t want to be spoken to like a princess?

7. “You are a saucy little thing, aren’t you?” (to an American Idol contestant)

Ooo, when he talks dirty, it’s enough to send shivers down a married woman’s spine.

6.“You’re dressed as a guitar but also look like an insect singing country Western music.” (to an American Idol hopeful)

This is shaping up to be a passionate extra-marital romp. Cowell has certainly uped the
ante by opening up about his deepest, darkest fantasy.

5. “You learn it as you go along. You don't get smart at 17. You just don't unless, you know, you're one in a billion. It just isn't going to happen that way. It will normally happen over time. And it's the getting there which has been the most fun. You've got to be patient and enjoy, as I said before, the process of getting there. Because I promise you, it's a lot more fun than being there." (to Oprah)

Now I admire Silverman’s confidence. I would be terrified because it’s Simon Cowell. He invented One Direction and he has a lot of money. But Cowell, ever full of surprises, knows how to calm a woman’s nerves. Thanks Simon! Any nervous nellies are probably feeling better about sleeping with you now.

4. “What that reminded me of when I was sitting here was, like, instead of being on the stage of American Idol, you’re at a local rodeo, you’d just been crowned the prom queen, and it was like the song before you lasso a bull.” (to an American Idol contestant)

Little known fact about Cowell’s dirty dreams: they’re elaborate.

3. “You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.” (during Season 7 of American Idol )

And specific, especially when it comes to how he wants you to say his name behind closed doors.

2. “There’s a movie that did that once. It’s called The Exorcist .” (to The X Factor contestant Sophia Harlow)

Minutes later, when all is said and done, Cowell reflects on the performance.

1. “I like them off. It’s kind of more zombie.” (to band ONE4FIVE during The X Factor )

Notes for next time: ditch the matching tight black v-neck t-shirts.

Cool!

Congratulations to Simon Cowell and Lauren Silverman!

Image: FOX