Gun Fever: Still Too Hot

9:35

On a Tuesday

Philadelphia, P.A.

It’s morning in the city of brotherly love, and Frank Reynolds has a story to tell. Appearing as a guest on a local morning news program—sandwich in hand— Frank tells the tale of how he survived a mugging by two armed thugs, thanks to his own guns that he has on himself at all times. He urges the city’s residents to go out to local gun shop, Gunther’s Guns, to get the firearms they so desperately need for protection.

Naturally, Dennis, Dee, Mac and Charlie are back at the bar, watching the program.

But when it comes to gun control, the gang is divided. To remedy the city’s violence problem, Mac and Charlie are all for “more guns on the street” so people can protect themselves, while Dennis and Dee insist it is already too easy for people to get their hands on firearms. Yes, the gang represents both ends of the gun control argument.

Believing weapons should be in schools so students can ward off attackers, Mac and Charlie head instantly over to a local middle school to pitch their beliefs to an administrator. To emphasize their point, the guys attend the meeting dressed in full patriotic garb— jean jackets, eagle T-shirts, and the bandanna back from the Season 2 episode, “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass” (yes, let cries of “Amurrika!” be heard everywhere). Unfortunately, the meeting quickly crashes and burns when Charlie pulls out a gun and Mac pulls out a samurai sword, each insisting that theirs is the better weapon for school grounds.

Dennis and Dee meanwhile head to Gunther’s Guns seeking to prove just how easy it is to buy a gun by purchasing assault rifles of their own. It is this scene that offers some of the best lines of the episode. As with the season premiere episode last week, Glenn Howerton plays up Dennis’ full sociopathic tendencies: “Theoretically, Gunther, would I be able to slaughter a room full of innocent people with that weapon?” And Kaitlin Olson lets loose Dee’s sarcastic sense of reason: “If you can drive, you can kill” (upon learning that all they need to do is submit their drivers licenses for background checks).

Unfortunately, the Reynolds twins are quickly denied due to Dennis’ frequent position as a person of interest in criminal cases and Dee’s brief institutionalization after burning her college roommate (even though, as Dee whines, “She deserved it!”)

After a subsequent hilarious scene in which Mac attempts to show Charlie how he can dodge bullets by walking in a zigzag and waving his samurai sword (they do this right next to a school playground, no less), the show switches again back to the Reynolds siblings. Unable to obtain weapons due to their sketchy pasts, Dennis and Dee head to a gun show— only to find that the same assault rifle costs a lot more coming from a private seller. When an overzealous attempt to steal the weapon goes quickly awry, they leave empty handed. A later attempt to purchase the same weapon off a street criminal ends in similar failure when the man takes their money and simply walks away, assault rifle still in hand. Now seeing that guns may not be as easy to get as they once thought, Dennis and Dee flip their position and determine that everyone should own a gun for protection.

Meanwhile back at Paddy’s, Mac and Charlie are again trying to put weapons in the hands of America’s youth— this time directly. Speaking to a group of about 20 children, the eager duo explain how ordinary classroom supplies can be ideally transformed into deadly devices.

Five minutes later, the two are seen fleeing the bar in fear. Now seeing that “society is becoming more savage” and increasingly dangerous, they also flip their position and determine that they have to get guns and other weapons off the streets. It is at that moment that Mac lifts his shirt and reveals to Charlie that he accidentally stabbed himself earlier on his samurai sword, but until now was too embarrassed to say anything about it.

So where has Frank been this whole time? Since his initial TV stint, he’s been making the rounds on all of Philadelphia’s news media, spreading a very pro weapons message and rallying people up for a gun rights demonstration downtown. But just as the gang is gearing up to attend, Frank announces that he himself is not attending, on account of all the riled up people with guns.

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m., only on FXX.