On Wednesday's episode of 'The Colbert Report,' Stephen discussed New York City's mayoral race, Syria, President Obama's feet and Sheryl Crow sang.
The show began with a discussion of the New York City mayoral race. Stephen joked about Mayor Bloomberg’s height and how the person to “fill his shoes” is an American Girl Doll. Stephen reminded the viewers that he had endorsed Joe Lhota because he was the only candidate who was “pro crushing kittens” after he said that he would refuse to stop the subway when the two kittens got onto the track. Lhota won the Republican bid. Stephen credited the ‘Colbert Bump.’
Lhota will likely run against Bill de Blasio, who, according to Stephen, “is so liberal that he won the gay vote against a lesbian.” Stephen wasn’t a fan of de Blasio because he wasn’t to raise taxes on people who make more than half a million dollars. It would cost Stephen about $900 and then he couldn’t afford his Gucci loafers.
The democratic candidate had a commercial featuring his biracial family, and Stephen said that it tricked voters. Mayor Bloomberg called the commercial racist. Because “there is nothing more racist than a man falling in love with a black woman and having a child just to prove that you are against stop-and-frisk,” according to Stephen. Stephen then said that there was a bigger biracial problem in this country: President Obama.
According to Stephen, President Obama attacked our Tuesday night lineup to discuss the situation in Syria. Stephen compared selling a war in Syria to the new iPhone. He said that we’re still have one (Afghanistan), and are still paying off the previous model (Iraq), even though this one would be faster, cheaper and smaller.
Stephen then discussed Secretary of State John Kerry’s gaff in saying that we could stop any military action if Syria turned in all of their chemical weapons. After Kerry’s words, Russia called on Syria to give them all up. Syria then accepted Russia’s proposal and planned to give up all of their weapons.
Rand Paul, republican senator from Kentucky, said that we cannot trust Russia or Syria- even though he has been against military action since Syria’s chemical weapons were first exposed.
However, Senator Paul did state that he believed Bashar al-Assad should be held accountable for all of the deaths. He stated that, since President Obama announced that it would be a little war, he believed that the administration would not hold Assad responsible. Paul believed that Assad should be killed. Paul said that the United States should bomb Assad.
Stephen showed clips of Senator Paul talking about how President Obama didn’t have a clear stance but Stephen made it clear that Senator Paul could have also been describing himself.
Stephen then changed the subject to a picture of President Obama. He was calling John Boehner, republican Speaker of the House and the president’s foot was on the oval office desk.
FOX News commentators discussed how disgusted and angry they were because it was disrespectful to the office. They were angry that his hand was in a gun shape and he wasn’t wearing a jacket.
Stephen then showed a picture of President George W. Bush with his feet on the desk and asked if President Obama thought he was President Bush.
However, Andrea Shea King (a conservative radio host) released a statement stating that President Obama’s position was a sign to the Muslim brotherhood because it is “common knowledge that the Arab world considers the bottom of one’s shoes the ultimate sign of disrespect.”
Stephen then pointed out random things that President Obama has done that seem like he is supporting the Muslim brotherhood.
Stephen interviewed Sheryl Crow for the interview and she performed.
Sheryl said that she didn’t have a 20-year career because she had an extreme work ethic. She said she had the career because she wanted to have fun. She wanted to get drunk in the morning, sit in the car wash.
Sheryl then talked about how she was anti-war and an activist. Stephen said that Hitler would have loved her during World War II. (Ouch.)
She performed ‘Give It to Me.’