On September 3, celebrities tweeted.
All of the hype about Miley Cyrus had finally receded into the dark recesses of our young minds (well, until I brought it up again . . . that poor foam finger!), and the young twerking advocate moved on to broadcast that we will be talking about her again in a week when her next single drops. Thank God. I was going to start watching the news.
Elsewhere, celebrities found themselves preoccupied with impending war with Syria . Just kidding! Celebrities shared their excitement for upcoming works of musical art, and Catholic holidays, but did not leave out their dreams of both baby names and encounters with popular Hollywood hunks. The chief of Fashion Police gave Disneyland fans a tip on how to get the most out of their experience at the park, while teenage girls everywhere imagined themselves picnicking in the English countryside with their favorite British crooner. English muffins also got a shout out. Basically, British things, and people, were happenin’ in the Twitterverse.
Check out the Top Ten Celebrity Tweets from Tuesday, September 3:
Kimye, Imma let you finish, but Ellen DeGeneres came up with the greatest celebrity baby name of all time:
If Katy Perry married Rip Van Winkle, their kids would be Perry-Winkle. These are the things I think about when I can't sleep.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) September 3, 2013
I’d ship it.
9. Joan Rivers spoke about the great lengths people will go to skip the lines at Disney:
Terrible! People are hiring the handicapped for the day in order to skip lines at Disneyland. It’s expensive – they charge an arm and a leg.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) September 3, 2013
LOL! Handicapped people! Arm and a leg! Funny.
8. Stephen Colbert and writers at The Colbert Report made us wonder why we aren’t all giving up Catholicism for Lent:
For Lent, I'm giving up #Catholicism. This is terrible. Now there's nothing to keep me from masturbating. http://t.co/9KdIO6x2zF #religion
— The Colbert Report (@ColbertReport) September 3, 2013
I’d like to point out that Lent doesn’t begin until March 4, 2014, but it’s good to plan ahead.
7. John Ralfio (a.k.a. Ben Schwartz) advised singer John Legend about packaging for his upcoming album:
True or false @johnlegend, your new album comes with a pack of 30 condoms.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) September 3, 2013
The songs are made to (or for) love , after all, so this is an excellent true/false question.
6. To which John Legend clarified:
No condoms included. Those are sold separately and highly recommended. @rejectedjokes
— John Legend (@johnlegend) September 3, 2013
Spicy.
5. Matilda child star Mara Wilson shared why she won’t be dreaming of Ryan Gosling again:
Dreamed of dancing with Ryan Gosling, but after he spun me into someone's car and only reluctantly agreed to pay for damage, I lost interest
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) September 3, 2013
Hey girl . . .
4. Miley Cyrus reminded us that she’s not going away. Long live BANGERZ :
#7days #23
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) September 3, 2013
Michael Jordan must be on the edge of his seat.
3. Harry Styles had a thought:
I like fields.
— Harry Styles (@Harry_Styles) September 3, 2013
2. The U.K.’s pop chart topper Lily Allen shared the secret to lifelong bliss:
Happiness is a cheesy muffin
— Lily Allen (@lilyallen) September 3, 2013
Allen later clarified that she was referring to an English muffin with cheese. Other types cheesy muffins pouted.
1. And finally! A celebrity (who is not Donald Trump) tweeted about Syria! Take it away Ana Gasteyer:
Such a powerful response to the #Syria thingamajig “@HuffingtonPost: Kim Kardashian wants to pose for Playboy again http://t.co/OIAtIQaJYU”
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) September 4, 2013
Oh wait. Nevermind.