Last night’s Conan episode aired two hours later than normal due to the Major League Baseball Post Season Game and Recap.
Conan O’Brien welcomed the audience with guest appearances Jerry O’Connell from the new TV show We Are Men and actress Lauren Cohan who plays Maggie in the zombie hit TV series The Walking Dead. The show also featured comedian Erin Foley.
With loud obnoxious screams from the audience, Conan reluctantly began his spiel. Conan announced it was President Barrack Obama’s Wedding Anniversary today. Unfortunately, Conan added, Obama forgot due to the Government shutting down and all. The President will now experience another kind of shutdown. Conan addressed the men and women in the room saying, “You know what I’m talking about,” as he shook his head and smiled.
In a new study, Conan said, cocaine, heroin and marijuana are cheaper now in America than ever in the last decade. Also, video game Grand Theft Auto V has already made more money than all the books sold in the UK. Conan added J.K. Rowling’s next book will be about Harry Potter making drug deals and stealing cars.
Conan revealed that Halloween is around the corner. Then Conan admitted while laughing, “There’s still another month.”
Wal-Mart pulled down their Osama Bin Laden costumes because they felt ashamed. Conan felt cheated because, “I planned to go as slutty Osama,” he said.
Chelsea Clinton promised his parents she would give them a grandchild by next year. Bill Clinton will have already given Chelsea a half sister by then, Conan replied.
A drunken man in Ohio with the numbers 666 tattooed on his forehead was arrested for urinating inside a Burrito shop. Conan added, “Ladies, you can find him on Match.com.”
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, the District Attorney did not press charges on Justin Bieber after supposedly spitting at his fans and neighbors. In Conan’s words the D.A. responded, “I don’t know who to Bielbe.”
KFC now has Fried Chicken take-out containers that can fit in vehicle cup holders. Conan added, they also have passenger side gravy bags that explode in impact.
Conan then showed a homo-erotic video that would resolve the bias issues with gingers and red heads in Great Britain. The video featured shirtless red haired young men and Conan who was eating a foot long sandwich, having a banana split and licking a lollipop.
In retaliation of all the National Parks closing due to the Government shutdown, Conan promoted a much smaller park near the studio called ‘El Paseo De Cahuenga Park’. The park features an observation area to view Los Angeles highway traffic, the popular tree on the left, the less popular tree on the right and the entire park can be used as a giant restroom. Then Conan displayed a brochure video for ‘El Paseo De Cahuenga Park’. The park includes a hipster park ranger, the famous discarded Butterfinger paper wrapper, water so pure you cannot see it and predator pedophiles welcomed back into their habitat.
Conan showed another video clip of their newest TV show sponsor called, ‘Smoke City’. It was about an overweight salesman selling smoke in jars to customers so they won’t have to light up a cigarette or do it themselves. However, ‘Smoke City’ does not sell drug smoke, especially crack which can be smoked right outside. The salesman continued to sing songs related to the store regardless of his excessive coughing. He also repeated the phrase, “It ain’t no joke, I’ll smoke your smoke.” Ending his commercial with “Don’t worry about my health, I don’t have a family.”
Actor Jerry O’Connell ran out to meet Conan or scurried as Andy Richter said. Jerry who had been acting for 25 years started as a chubby kid in the film Stand By Me. Conan stated that on We Are Men Jerry’s character is usually seen wearing a Speedo. Jerry said he does not personally enjoy wearing that, his children would be embarrassed. Although, a minute later, Jerry admitted being an embarrassing parent to his kids would be beneficial to them in the long run. “I want them to be embarrassed, it’ll make them stronger,” Jerry stated. Jerry has his four year old girl in Karate so he can get his child to fall asleep. When his daughter’s Sensei described she would learn discipline, focus and to defend herself. Jerry replied as long as you can get her to pass out. Jerry would love to spend some alone time with his wife for once. His wife of six years is former model turned actress Rebecca Romijn. Conan admits the same thing with his kids. Conan explained he will finally be alone with his wife when suddenly one of his children comes walking into the room like from The Sixth Sense. Jerry was delighted that Rebecca kept her maiden name and then called his children “the worst”. Jerry then stuck his tongue out of his mouth and admitted he wants his children to get involved in show business. Jerry wants them to get some of that “Miley money,” while teaching them how to twerk in ill-faded outfits. Conan shocked by Jerry’s words said, “you’re the worst dad ever.” Besides wearing Speedos on We Are Men, Jerry also plays an OB/GYN, otherwise known as a “lady doctor”. Jerry explained he would never be a good lady doctor in real life because he remembers when he had to help deliver his baby. It was a frightening and stressful experience. Then Jerry and Conan joked how old fashioned dads did not even have to be in the hospital when their children were born. Instead, they would hear the news from a friend or coworker and celebrate with their pals taking shots of scotch and smoking cigars. Conan showed a quick clip from We Are Men where Jerry was trying to get his dog back after losing the custody battle with his ex-wife. The video clip also featured actor Kal Penn from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and Tony Shalhoub from TV series Monk. We Are Men appears Monday nights at 8:30pm on CBS.
British actress Lauren Cohan of The Walking Dead came out looking sexy in a stunning red dress. Conan immediately began flirting with Lauren saying his red tie matched her red dress. Conan who is a huge fan of The Walking Dead thought it is funny how the characters first were scared of the zombies in season 1 until in season 3 they’re bored of them; zombies lurking behind them as the characters nonchalantly flip pancakes, Conan described. Lauren laughed and then described how easily they cast the walkers on the show. As long as you’re lengthy, tall, and skinny you can be a zombie. Conan stated he’s been trying to get on the show as a zombie for years. Then Lauren and Conan pictured a scene where zombie Conan is chasing after Andy when suddenly it ends with them making out, using tongue.
Lauren then explained she lived near a Pet Cemetery when she was a teenager in England. Just like a regular cemetery with normal sized tombstones, Lauren added, the Pet Cemetery just had pet names like Fluffy, Booboo, Big Ron. Conan then replied, “you’re trying to make them sound like porn names.” Lauren also used to practice rolling joints with her friends by using tea leafs. Lauren stated you certainly get caffeinated. With tea pushing, Lauren continued to joke and said milk would eventually shoot out too. Conan in disgust replied, “It’s a family show! You’re worse than O’Connell.” Season 4 of The Walking Dead premieres Sunday Oct. 13 9/8c on AMC.
Comedian Erin Foley then performed her skit. She was surprisingly funny with original content such as the horrors of being Gluten intolerant, the health fanatics in Los Angeles and communion wafers given out during Catholic mass to represent the ‘body of Christ’. Erin will perform live at ‘Theater Off Jackson’ in Seattle on Friday Oct. 11.
Catch Conan weekday nights at 11/10c on TBS.
Image from TBS