“Safety Squeeze” has The Cannon and Dick attending a safety and sensitivity training and Terry taking an interest in Dudley after his parents forget to pick him up from practice.
The episode starts with The Cannon hitting Dick in the crotch, Terry yelling while holding home base, and Danny running into a crowd yelling, “Man down.”
During practice, The Cannon starts hitting balls into the outfield for the boys to catch. He says they need to work more with the boys, but Terry doesn’t want to push it since they had three injuries just running out of the dug out. He asks what they’re going to do when pop flies come at them during a game. She replies that they’ll do what they always do, “Yell, “You got it” and get out of the way.” Meanwhile, Dick is walking around with the safety officer, Sheldon. Sheldon comments on how safe the league has been since Dick took over. One of the Angles gets hit in the head by the ball and passes out. Danny runs in with the first aid kit yelling, “Man down.” The Cannon gives the boy a cold beer to put on his head. Sheldon sees this can says it’s not safe. Dick suggests sending The Cannon to the four-hour safety course, not realizing that he’d have to attend as well. Sheldon tells The Cannon he has to attend the safety course or The Angles will have to forfeit if The Cannon is at their game. The Cannon replies that he’d be doing them a favor. After practice, Terry notices Lulu waiting at the park. Terry thinks she’s waiting for Michael, but Lulu is really scoping out the kid handoffs to see who the new divorced men are. Terry then finds Dudley sitting along waiting for his parents. He mentions that they sometimes forget to pick him up, but it’s not a problem because he only lives a few miles away and can walk home. She decides to wait with him. She asks, “So do you like video games?” Dudley replies, “Are you hitting on me, coach?”
Terry arrives home with Dudley. The Cannon comments, “Hold it. What’d you bring the fat kid home for? I only made food for forty.” Terry explains that his parents forgot him. Dudley then tries to tell The Cannon a knock-knock joke, but The Cannon doesn’t cooperate. Dudley continues to ask. After Terry talks to Dudley’s father, The Cannon comes in and tells her that Dudley has to go because he told him fifteen knock-knock jokes and inhaled a box of crackers. Dudley and Danny walk in. Terry informs them that Dudley is staying the night because his divorced parents got their schedules mixed up. The Cannon says, “If I find teeth marks in my easy chair, done.” Dudley keeps Danny up as he tells Danny about his home life since his parents’ divorce and with his incessant farting. The next morning Danny is tired and he and The Cannon complain about Dudley. Terry tells them to imagine being a young boy whose parents do not care for him. The Cannon sarcastically replies, “He ate my imagination.”
At the safety seminar, The Cannon is reluctant to take it seriously as he picks on Sheldon.
Later that day, Terry arrives home to find Danny and Dudley in the living room. Danny explains that Dudley just sort of followed him home. Danny didn’t know what to do and Dudley seemed lonely. Terry goes in to talk to Dudley about how she felt alone when her mother died. She assures him that his parents’ divorce isn’t his fault. He tells her that they don’t come to his games, adding, “I don’t blame him. Who wants to see a fat kid strike out five times in a row.”
At the safety seminar, Dick and The Cannon are paired up. While learning CPR, The Cannon punches Dick in the stomach. When they learn about the safety bubble to avoid bat injuries, The Cannon purposely hits Dick in the crotch with the bat. Finally with the trust exercise Dick finds another partner. After he puts the blindfold on, The Cannon switches to be Dick’s partner again. He then walks Dick into the door. “Here endeth the lesson.” Dick angrily yells at The Cannon telling him he could have taken today seriously and learned something. He also adds that he couldn’t imagine growing up with a father like him and isn’t surprised why Terry is such a disaster. Sheldon hears the confrontation and tells Dick it’s not a sensitive thing to say. The Cannon pretends he has learned a lot today and is shocked by Dick’s rant, making Dick look bad.
Terry tries to talk Dudley’s dad into coming to the game, but he doesn’t want to because it’s not his custody day and he has plans. He claims that Dudley knows he loves him, but Terry says she doesn’t think Dudley does know. Terry then enlists Lulu’s flirtation to get him to come to the game. Dudley is excited that both of his parents are there and he thinks today might be the day he actually hits the ball. When Dudley is up to bat, his parents continue arguing and miss him hitting the ball. He makes his way around the bases only to be called out at home plate. Terry starts to fight with the umpire as she picks up home plate to show him Dudley’s footprint, even though Dudley was clearly out. She continues on, saying that the kids should feel safe there. She says his foot hit the base so he is safe. The ump says, “Doesn’t work like that lady,” which angers her. She turns her baseball cap around and starts kicking the dirt at him and yelling. She’s escorted off of the diamond.
Later that night, The Cannon says he’s proud of her. Terry says she didn’t want Dudley to feel abandoned like she did when she was younger. She asks why he left her in a hotel room with a stranger, wanting to know what she did wrong. He explains that she didn’t nothing wrong. He was going through a hard time after her mother died, “I did a lot more than just drink a little bit. I was a mess.” He thought she would be better off with someone he trusted while he went to a “Mexican Betty Ford.” He tells her he’s sorry. As he gets up to walk away, Terry hugs The Cannon. She comments that he still drinks. He says it was Mexican so he didn’t really understand anything they were saying.
image: ABC
