“Vanessa Fixes Kyle” has Vanessa trying to make things right with Kyle after feeling guilty about pushing Mandy to end her relationship with him to explore other options.
Mandy and Eve are eating cereal at the kitchen table when Mike pulls the empty cereal box from the shelf. He asks who put the empty box back in the pantry and Mandy and Eve blame one another. Kristin enters and needs someone to watch Boyd after school that week. Eve sarcastically suggests, “How about one of his parents?” Mike responds, “Why do I have to do everything around here?” He then tells Eve she has to watch Boyd; when Eve complains, he tells her that helping each other is what family does. She then tells Kristin she’ll do it for ten dollars an hour. Mike tells her it's wrong to ask family to pay for a member's help; he then asks Kristin to bring home lobster as payment for him getting Eve to watch Boyd. Kyle arrives and Mandy explains that for her class experiment, Kyle is eating only cheese for the week. When Vanessa greets Kyle, he addresses her as Vanessa Gladys Baxter, which isn’t even her middle name. He explains that his mom always uses all three of his names when they’re not on good terms with one another. Mike picks on Vanessa for making Kyle hate her. He tells her Kyle is the nicest kid in the world—“It’s like pissing off a Care Bear.” He adds that dogs and children can sense true evil, and Kyle is a good mix of the two. As she exits, Mike grabs the jug of milk, only to discover it’s empty.
At Outdoor Man, Mike is explaining the empty cereal box situation to Ed, adding that he measured and it’s actually farther to put the box back in the pantry rather than the trash. Ed says when his kids would do that, he would cut eye holes in the boxes and make them wear them on their heads. Ed then tells Kyle that he ran over a squirrel and tells him to go clean it off of his truck and tires. Vanessa walks in, and Ed asks if everything is all right. “Did Eve fall down a well?” Vanessa replies, “No, why would you go there?” Ed says, “Why would you come here?” She explains that Kyle has been angry with her. Ed can’t believe it as it says that Kyle is the nicest kid in the world. Ed then tells her that Kyle and Mike are busy, but he’ll let them know she stopped by. She says not to because her and Mike have a policy about not bothering each other at work. Ed comments that it must not be written in stone. As she’s ready to leave, she sees Kyle and tells him she knows he’s mad. He claims that mad is a fancy world. Vanessa tells him that it really isn’t. He explains that he’s more upset than mad because it made him question whether or not he was good enough for Mandy. He adds, “How can anyone compare to Mr. B? Men want to be him, women want to be with him, and animals want to be killed by him.” Vanessa explains that Mike wasn’t always like that. He had a lot of confidence in himself, which is what Kyle needs. She tells him that he underestimates himself. When she realizes that Ed has Kyle cleaning up squirrel guts, she tells him that he could do so much more. Kyle explains that he’s a floater and does a little bit of everything. She asks Kyle what job he would choose if he could have any job at Outdoor Man. He hesitates and looks at Ed. Vanessa stops him and tells him to answer for himself. Kyle says he would like to be in sales. Vanessa mentions boat sales, while Ed helplessly looks on. Vanessa convinces a reluctant Ed to allow Kyle to work in boat sales to increase his confidence. Kyle happily walks away. Mike walks in and Vanessa tells him that she just did something wonderful for Kyle. Ed sarcastically comments, “Yes, wonderful things always happen when wives visit unannounced.” Vanessa leaves and Ed calls Mike into his office. He explains Kyle’s promotion and says it’s all Vanessa’s fault because he has trouble saying no to attractive women. Mike suggests Ed tell Kyle he changed his mind. Ed says he can’t do that to Kyle. He tells Mike to do it since he married Vanessa. Ed says it’s always a bad idea to have your wife involved in your business. Mike agrees, “Yeah, that’s how we ended up with Yoko Ono and Hillary Clinton.”
Boyd stares at Eve while she studies. She finally asks him what he wants. He explains that he spilled something in the kitchen. Eve tells him to clean it up. He replies, “I tried, but now the hose won’t shut off." She jumps up and runs in to the kitchen only to have Boyd say, “Mad you look.” She tells him to leave her alone, “I don’t have time to run all over the house trying to make your death look like an accident.” He wants to play a game and she says they can play Cave Explorer. She gives him a flashlight, leads him to the basement, closes the door on him and shuts the light off. He asks what he’s supposed to be looking for. She replies, “Don’t worry. It will find you.”
Mike arrives home and Vanessa asks him how work was. He says she should know since she’s apparently been making big decisions around there. He compares her to the big head fish released in the Mississippi River that ruined the ecosystem. Mike thinks Vanessa is pushing Kyle past his abilities. She doesn’t agree, saying that Kyle doesn’t have it in him to survive in sales: “He’s only hated one person in his life and that person has made him a boat salesman.” Mandy is also annoyed at Vanessa pushing Kyle into sales.
While trying to sell a boat, Kyle gives contradictory advice, including how they depreciate in value, before saying, “It’s a boat time for you to buy one.” He then tells the customer that he was once told that there are two great days in every boat owner’s life, which are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it. He says this guarantees two great days, not realizing that it’s actually urging him not to buy a boat. After the customer walks away, Mike sarcastically tells Kyle that he forgot to tell the customer that boats flip, catch fire, and people drown. Kyle says he doesn’t want someone to buy something that they maybe shouldn’t buy. Mike replies, “You’re not the government. It’s not your job to tell people what they need.” Mike suggests Kyle try selling him a boat. Kyle says that it’s their open bow model, “So when it flips you won’t get trapped—and it’s red.”
Kristin walks in asking, “Cave Explorer?” Eve replies, “So you finally spent some time with your kid.” Kristin tells Eve she’s never watching Boyd again. Eve sarcastically says, “Oh that’ll teach me.” Kristin tells her she’s selfish. Eve says she doesn’t see why she should put her stuff on hold to watch Boyd. Kristin says she used to watch Eve when she was younger. They used to have fun playing Candy Land together. Eve, seeing the error of her ways, admits she should make the best of watching Boyd. Kristin asks her if she wants to play Candy Land like they used to. Eve and Kristin walk to the basement to get the game. Kristin says, “First, let’s play a little game of Cave Explorer,” then locks Eve in the basement and turns the light off.
For his video blog advertisement, Mike says he likes boats because they know their purpose. He says, “They float. At least ours do.” Mike wisely says, “The challenge of our lives is figuring out where we were born to do.” He adds that the real tragedy is to spend your life not doing what you’re meant to do.
Ed arrives late because he had to pick up his own dry cleaning since Kyle is in sales now. He didn’t realize he needed a ticket for it. He ended up with the wrong clothing, adding, “I haven’t been chased that hard by Vietnamese people since the war.” Ed admits that he misses having Kyle around. He says, “It’s the unsung doofuses like Kyle that keep things ticking.” Kyle enters and Ed tells him he would be happy if Kyle switched back to his old job. Kyle shows him that he actually sold a boat, as well as a snowmobile. Mike and Ed are both impressed. Kyle is glad that this will make Mrs. B. happy and he will be worthy in her eyes. He then tells them that selling the boat made him feel “truly horrible.” He adds, “Like there’s a permanent stain on my soul.” He feels bad because he sold the boat to an older man on a fixed pension. Mike suggests they find a different job that will make Kyle happy, but Ed is reluctant to since he proved he’s actually good at sales. Kyle explains that an employee in clothing is better at selling boats and that another employee from a different area is more interested in clothing. Realizing that Kyle is good at knowing who is best for specific jobs, Mike suggests that he become Sales Floor Coordinator. He explains that Kyle would advise them on who does what best as he floats from department to department, including helping Ed with his errands and coffee. Even though he’s basically back in his old position, Kyle says he should probably have a raise with the promotion. Mike responds, “Should is a fancy word, Kyle.” Kyle says, “Not really.” Mike agrees to talk about a raise with Ed as Ed helplessly watches yet again and worriedly says, “What’s happening?”
Mike arrives home to tell Vanessa that Outdoor Man’s ecosystem has been restored. He admits that he does agree that Kyle has potential. He starts to walk toward the living room with a few boxes of cereal. When she asks where he is taking them, he says he’s taking them to his den.
image: ABC
