Jackie deals with her boundary issues and the dating world, Meg and Diane face off, the kids create a web series to review gum, all while Kate and Pete yearn for some adult time sans Pete’s ex-wives on the latest episode of Trophy Wife.
The episode opens with Pete and Kate hosting Hillary’s French club part, Bert’s soccer party, and Warren’s AV club party. They decide that they need to throw a party for themselves that doesn’t include kids or Pete’s ex-wives. They both agree that Jackie has been at their house way too much as of late. Pete calls Jackie to ask her to watch Bert. Jackie answers. She tells Pete she is outside his house gardening with Bert. She tells him that her “greenhouse is full of weed…weeds.” He asks Jackie to take Bert this weekend so he and Kate can have a party. Jackie agrees too, but then calls Diane to watch Bert.
The party is a strange mix of Kate’s young party friends and Pete’s lawyer friends. While enjoying themselves, Kate and Pete hear Jackie’s voice. She’s arrived to make her famous fresh mango margaritas. Pete and Kate look annoyed that Jackie crashed their party and Jackie thinks it’s because they just had a fight.
The kids are at Diane’s house. Diane is quizzing Hillary on her French. Hillary becomes frustrated and wants to move on. Diane replies, “Never put off yesterday ‘til tomorrow what you need to learn today.” She then asks Warren and Bert what they are doing. The boys inform her that they are creating a video series about reviewing gum. Diane tells them to tell their viewers that chewing gum is a filthy habit. Bert points to Diane and says, “You know who could use some gum? That one.” Hillary forgot her math textbook at Pete and Kate’s. Diane says she’ll call over and get it. Bert informs Diane that Kate and Pete are having a party and kids aren’t allowed. Diane sarcastically asks why Kate would be there then, taking yet another dig at the age difference between Pete and Kate.
Diane arrives at the party to pick up Hillary’s math book. Meg asks her to play beer pong. Diane declines and comments that she doesn’t want Hep C. Meg informs her that a lot of her cousins have Hep C, but not from beer pong. During their banter, Diane cleans up a few cups and Meg snaps a picture of her.
Meanwhile, Bert and Warren decide to review Bubble Yum. Bert thinks it is yummy. Warren disagrees and says it is “super yummy.” Hillary enters, offering to produce their show to triple their viewers. She then notices that they currently only have three viewers.
While cleaning up, Pete and Kate find Meg’s scarf and the jacket of Pete’s colleague, “Sad” Steve. They then hear people having sex in Pete’s office. They think it’s Meg and Steve. As they are whispering outside the office, Meg pops up and asks who is having sex. Meg informs them she doesn’t think she’s having sex, “I don’t think so, but I’m pretty drunk.” Jackie pops out and asks them to quite down because she’s trying to get laid and their whispering is killing the mood.
Disgusted by the events of the previous night, Pete and Kate clean Pete’s office with gloves on. As they clean, they discover that Jackie and Steve both had purple underwear on. Pete thinks what happened is weird, but Kate assures him that it was a freak incident and it will never happen again. Pete notices that they used his computer to search for sex positions involving a desk.
Hillary shows Diane that Meg posted a picture on Instagram of Diane holding three red cups with #drunkmoms under it. Diane asks, “What on earth is number drunk moms,” before telling Hillary to get rid of it. Hillary explains that only Meg can remove the picture.
At work, Steve comes to talk to Pete, but finds it weird and awkwardly begins rambling and fidgeting. He explains that he’s hoping to get serious with Jackie because he has accrued 110 sick days and doesn’t have anyone to spend them with. Pete encourages him to call Jackie.
Kate realizes Jackie is at their house yet again. Kate wants an apology for Jackie’s sexcapade, but Jackie doesn’t. Instead, she asks Kate for advice on whether or not she should see Steve again. Kay says no. They then notice that Jackie’s bra is in the pool. Pete calls Kate and she informs him that she talked Jackie into not dating Steve. Pete tells her to talk her back into it because Steve wants to date her and taker her on long trips to other countries. This is the best way to rid themselves of Jackie’s constant presence. Jackie walks in after fishing her bra out of the pool. She informs Kate that her pool stretched out her bra, but she doesn’t want to charge Kate for a new one so she’ll just take one of Kate’s. Kate then tells her she was wrong about Steve. She tells Jackie that they should date, citing the fact that they wear the same color underwear as a reason. She successfully convinces Jackie to date Steve and Jackie leaves.
Warren and Bert continue their show, “Blow This”, with the aid of Hillary. They’ve received more viewers and comment asking if they’re single. Hillary suggests that the show needs a girl. The boys disagree, but Hillary says it’s too bad because they’re not the executive producer and she is.
Jackie, never having actually left, tells Kate she has changed her mind and can’t go out with Steve because she’s nervous he won’t like her. She confesses that she has boundary issues, which could scare Steve away. As she admits this, she rubs the chest area of Kate’s shirt as she tells her how much she likes the shirt she is wearing.
Diane goes to the bar where Meg works to tell her to take down the picture. Meg asks her if she wants a drink. Diane replies, “There’s not enough Purell in the world.” Meg refuses to take it down and suggests they play a round of beer pong. If Diane wins, Meg will take the picture down. She thinks Diane will be horrible at it. Diane agrees to and shocks Meg when she lists the rules, starting with “one rerack, no fixing, no blowing, no squatting,” and ending with, “boucing is for bitches.”
Pete arrives home and Kate informs him that they are going to dinner with Jackie and Steve. As she comments on liking Pete’s pants, Jackie starts to rub his crotch. Pete and Kate stop her. Jackie tells her she’s so bad with boundaries, but she doesn’t even notice it.
At dinner, Jackie is still nervous as she repeatedly asks Kate and Pete how she looks. Pete replies, “You look great. You sound crazy.” Kate reminds her to be coy and mysterious. When Steve arrives, Jackie’s version of being coy and mysterious basically involves her ignoring Steve. When he asks if they’ve order drinks, she says, “Ah, well wouldn’t you like to know.” Kate tells her to tone it down a bit, but Jackie leaves the table.
Diane and Meg play beer pong. They’re even with both having a ball in their last cup. Meg throws a second ball into Diane’s cup before she finishes, which means Meg wins. Meg then falls and passes out. Diane looks down and says, “I win.”
Hillary takes over host duties on Bert and Warren’s show to the boys’ dismay. Warren assures Bert that he’s not actually recording her.
Kate finds Jackie outside. Jackie thinks she is too much for a guy. Kate assures her that, “There’s a sweet guy in there who wants all the Jackie you have to offer.” Jackie asks if she’s too weird for Steve. Kate assures her that she’s “so much more than weird.”
Diane sews up Meg’s cut from falling. Meg agrees to not post pictures of her or her kids and the two decide to play beer pong again. This time they’re playing for money.
Feeling more comfortable and less nervous, Jackie tells Kate and Pete they can go. She says, “Why don’t you take this bread and roll.” Steve picks up on the pun, adding his own, “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” After Kate and Pete leave, Jackie says, “Well here goes muffin,” and kisses Steve. He asks her how he bread is there, and she says she doesn’t know because she doesn’t actually eat gluten.
Steve awkwardly comes to Pete’s office again. Pete tells him just to say what is on his mind. Steve asks, “How do you ask a woman not to wax?” Pete replies, “Don’t do that. Just walk away.”
image: ABC
