It is Christmas time and everybody knows what that means: Christmas music will be playing everywhere. There are the classics like Dean Martin that are acceptable to be played over and over. However, there are albums that are on the Christmas music naughty list.
When making a list of terrible Christmas albums, it was difficult. Every Christmas album has the same track list but different people singing them. When trying to decide what was the worst, I had to listen to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” more times that I’d like. But, because everyone was singing the same thing, it was easy to pick what was good and what was bad. The movies on this list are bad.
There are obviously more than five bad Christmas albums. But, because this is TheCelebrityCafe.com, I tried to find contemporary or well-known albums to review. The artists featured on this list aren’t necessarily bad singers. Some of them are very talented. However, just because you have a great voice, doesn’t mean that you should make a Christmas album.
Below are the top five worst Christmas albums. When you finish, comment on what you think is the worst because, obviously, there are more than five.
5. Olivia Newton John and John Travolta; This Christmas
Grease is an amazing musical. Olivia Newton John and John Travolta as Danny and Sandy is a perfect match. But if you put these two on an entire Christmas album it is not “Greased Lightnin.” If you watch the music video below, you’ll understand just how cheesy the entire album is. It is almost as cheesy as the my puns throughout this story.
Their album features an original song, “I Think You Might Like It.” Sorry John and Olivia, I don’t like it.
4. David Hasselhoff; Night Before Christmas
Not even the cast of Baywatch could save this album. I can only compare it to the slush that happens when snow melts but hasn’t turned into water yet. It is the black, nasty mush that sits on the side of the road. The Hoff used to be talented and beautiful like winter snow. Now, he’s worn out and annoying.
3. Justin Bieber; Under The Mistletoe
I’m not sure how you can ruin a Mariah Carey classic while Mariah Carey is in it as well but “All I Want For Christmas Is You (SuperFestive!)” is the reason why I decided that Bieber was going to be on the list. I think there was an error in the song title, “SuperFestive!” actually stands for “SuperTerrible!”
The Bieber fans went crazy over the album when it was released it was number one on the US Billboard top 200. Popularity doesn’t make it good. Though, I do have to compliment “Mistletoe.” It was pretty good and was stuck my head all through the holidays.
2. RuPaul; Ho Ho Ho
Where do I even start? Well, it is bad. It is so bad that I am curious whether I should take it seriously or if it is meant to be a joke. The song below is either like “All I Want To Christmas Is You” or “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” with a few edits. This song may be about Joan Rivers as well.
1. Jingle Dogs; Christmas Unleashed
To be fair, this is my dog’s favorite album. This album is exactly what you think it would be. It is dogs barking to the tune of Christmas songs. Maybe I don’t understand the appeal of listening to 12 barking songs. But, after one song I was already annoyed.
The songs are pretty “ruff.” Listen to one below and, feel free to bark along if you know the words.
What is your least favorite Christmas album?