5 Things You Need to Make a Good Acceptance Speech

It is award show season and that means a lot of acceptance speeches. A lot. There will be speeches for singing, dancing, acting. The superbowl is coming up. I'm sure there will be acceptance speeches for that. Everyone is grateful and everyone else is a loser.
As someone who has watched a fair share of award shows, I understand that giving the perfect acceptance speech is an art. There is a system.

Sure, you can have a normal speech where you thank people and leave the stage. But those speeches aren't the ones that make the highlight reel.

I have five things you need to make a great speech. I'm not talking cheap theatrics like crying or tripping up the stage. These are five things that are in almost every acceptance speech.

Acceptance speeches, in theory, should be easy. The point of the speech is in the title. But, they aren't. Here are five things you need when making an awesome acceptance speech.

5. <b>Tell a pointless story</b>

So you won an award for Best Actor, obviously now is the time to tell that random story about tripping on the way to an audition. So what if the story doesn't relate and it isn't funny. This is your time.

And even if your story is absolutely dumb and not interesting at all, it is still a win/win. People only remember the extreme speeches. The speeches with crazy stories about nonsense will clearly be the most endearing.
The most unrelated, the better. If you want to really make an impression, simply talk nonsense and don't finish a story. Make the audience forget what the award show is about and simply make them talk about you as a speech giver.

Check out Matthew's speech. It is a perfect example of what to do.

4.<b>Ignore the "times up" music</b>

The music is there to help the show stay on track. But, as an award winner, you are more important than everyone. So what if your long speech impedes on the other award winners' speeches. You are the most important person in the world while you make your super long speech.

And, when the music starts, just talk louder. Nobody will notice how rude it is for you to clearly defy the award speech rules. Don't speed up your words as you see the timer running out. Take your time. You earned this.
Watch Amy plow through like the champion that she is.

3.<b>Pretend to be surprised</b>

So you typically have a one in five chance of winning the award. And, you have earned three other awards for your role. To a normal person, it wouldn't be shocking to win. Being shocked for winning an award is like being surprised when it is cold in Antarctica. It is lame.

But, for a celebrity, it has to be shocking. But this shock has to be intensified. If you want to really be unprepared, you should not prepare a speech. You should make your best shocked face and talk about how surprised you are. You should tell a long, pointless story about another time you were shocked.

Taylor Swift is a pro at looking surprised. Check out her perfect surprise speech below.

2.<b>Express gratitude to the "you know who you are" crowd</b>

When accepting an award, there are people that are practically mandatory to thank. You have to thank parents, costars, loved ones and directors. But, what about the other people? The ones behind the scenes? Your dog walker, the guy you met at the gym, you have to thank the little people. But, instead of naming them, simply say "you know who you are." Sure, nobody knows who you're talking about but it is a blanket to make sure you thank everyone.

"You know who you are" is code for everyone. If anyone is offended that you forgot them, you can simply say that they were part of the "you know who you are" crowd.

Andy Samberg thanked his "team" in his Golden Globes acceptance speech. Who is on his team? Anyone.

1.<b>Passive aggressively compliment the other nominees.</b>

You won. They lost. Rub it in their face without seeming like a sore winner. How do you do that? Compliment them while also reminding the crowd that the other nominees are losers and you are the best ever.

One example would be, "I look up to all of you so much, you're incredible actors. It is crazy that I'm up here and you aren't." Respecting others while bragging. It is classy and shameless.

Check out speech-pro Meryl complimenting her fellow nominees. She is very classy but still reminds them that she is boss.