This week’s episode of New Girl entitled ‘Sister’ explored the enormous differences that can occur within a family’s bloodline. The introduction scene is an average morning in the loft. The roommates are sitting around the breakfast table and Winston is reminding them about a dinner obligation that they made to his girlfriend, and their neighbor, Birdie. Winston gently warns them that they can not bail on this important dinner party, for Birdie has prepared 10-11 soups, all of which are cream based. Schmidt being Schmidt immediately takes back his rsvp and explains that he has a date with a hot Jewish girl.
Moments later, Jess’s phone rings and it’s her Mom (Jamie Lee Curtis). Jess’s mom informs her that her sister Abby has been arrested in San Diego and it’s her job to go pick her up from jail. Before hanging up Jess’s mom gives a few words of parting advice, she explains that she doesn’t know what kind of jail it is, “Be prepared for anything, wear a shirt you don’t love, love.”
As Jess hangs up the phone she nervously tells her roommates that her sister is in town, “She’s coming to town! The best news ever I know! It’s so so so so good!” Somehow, none of the oblivious roommates notices the manic and clearly crazy tone in her voice.
Despite Jess’s extreme angst about her sister’s arrival, Nick remains extremely excited to meet his girlfriend’s sister. Unknown to Nick, Jess has plans to immediately drop Abby at the airport, avoiding any possible disaster and dodging a meet and greet with Nick. While Jess masterfully lies about her sister’s background and personality, Nick practices a classy introduction in the bathroom mirror. “Oh tidings Abigail, I’m Jessica’s beau, my name is Nicholas” he recites smoothly while taming his hairdo with a barber’s comb.
By this time, Winston is furious because everyone has bailed on his dinner party, except for Coach and CeCe (awkward moments to come). Schmidt is preparing for his big date, and tries to convince Nick to come along and be his wingman before meeting Abby. In a series of hilarious flashbacks of Nick’s wingman success, we see why Nick finally agrees to help his buddy out.
Jess arrives to the prison to find Abby (Linda Cardellini) in a jail cell full of hardcore women. Abby is the exact opposite of sweet Jess, she’s wearing a cut off cropped tank top, a tight red mini skirt, and bed head she struts out of the cell. Jess innocently then innocently chirps “So you good to go? or do you have to sign yearbook or something?”
The two of them engage in a stereotypical sibling scene once they enter the car. Jess, the careful and good-two-shoes sister reflects her role in her driving. This prompts the daredevil in Abby to mess with her, covering her eyes and demanding that she speeds up. Amongst this adorable scene, Abby decides to change her plane ticket so that she will have time to meet Nick. After the ticket is changed, Jess immediately starts driving even slower to waste time. A cop then pulls up and screams in the window “DRIVE FASTER!”
Back at home, Schmidt has dragged Nick to a Bar Mitzvah. Coincidentally, he is not trying to date a thirteen year old boy, but a Hebrew school teacher. The obviously confused Nick blurts out, “I am not watching some kid get circumcised!” To Schmidt’s disappointment the woman he is trying to woo has a father who not only is a Rabbi, but also happens to hate Schmidt. This makes the situation all the more weird, and all the more challenging.
Back at the loft, CeCe and Coach realize that they are the only two attending Birdie’s dinner party, which makes it a double date. The two of them are extremely uncomfortable around each other since going out on a date two months prior and engaging in a heated make out sesh right after. Amidst the awkwardness, Abby and Jess walk through the door. Abby immediately starts to comment on the situation.
“Hello hot cocoa, well what’s going on here? I’m gettin’ a real vibe. You want to have sex with her, but you, you aren’t so sure.” To ease the tension that followed Abby’s acute observation Jess breaks into song, “Abbbbbby Day, Abbbbby Day, she always says the most inappropriate stuff.”
Abby then threatens to take Jess’s dress and shove it down her throat if she continues to a cappella sing at her.
Back at the Bar Mitzvah we meet Rachel, the Hebrew school teacher of Schmidt’s dreams. Rachel is very attractive, but seems to have a drinking problem. When Schmidt approaches her, Rachel’s father is immediately on the scene, demanding that she stays away from Schmidt. The terribly tipsy Rachel then blurts out “Daddy he wants to have sex with me! and I love sex! Let him have sex with me!” as he drags her away with her wine glass in hand. Nick calls Jess to check in on the dinner plans they had made and she gives him a lame excuse about Abby having a “conference call.” Nick sees through her lie and immediately assumes that Jess is embarrassed of him.
Things seems to be going relatively well between Jess and Abby, who are laughing and joking over pink wine. It’s a precious sisterly moment and Jess attempts to enjoy it until a text from CeCe ruins everything. While Jess is in the other room, Abby opens a text from CeCe that reads “So has Abby ruined everything yet?” Abby then disappears.
Jess returns to the room confused, and calls her mom for help. During her conversation, her mom dotes on her lovingly telling her not to worry and calling her “baby” multiple times. It’s then when Jess decides to deal with her sister on her own.
At Birdie’s abandoned dinner party all is silent except for the sounds of slurping soup. Winston attempts to ease the tension by saying “You know Birdie had a dream that she killed me!” Suddenly, Coach and CeCe erupt into a sexually charged argument about the date they had months prior. In the heat of the moment, they decide to try to reenact their make out session exactly and retreat to the outside of the building where it all went down. It goes disastrously. After some weird positioning, an accidental bite, and the loss of all attraction they decide to just be friends.
Jess finally finds Abby at a hotel bar, where she is ordering cocktails and putting them on random room accounts. She demands that Abby leaves and brings her to the airport. Outside of the airport, Abby explains to Jess that she is a lame woman in her thirties living with their mom. Jess feels sorry for his sister.
Hopes are still high at the Bar Mitzvah and Nick is trying his best to be a great wingman to Schmidt, who expressed that Nick has abandoned him for Jess. To win back Rachel and make Schmidt look like a hero, Nick bravely hits on the grandmother of the Bar Mitzvah boy. He really takes it to the next level and starts making out with her, and Schmidt almost saves the day. Unfortunately, a handsome doctor had the same idea and interferes in Schmidt’s recuse, bravely punching Nick in the face.
When Schmidt and Nick finally arrive home, Schmidt has a broken heart and Nick has a black eye. When Nick tries to ask Jess why she’s embarrassed of him, Schmidt swoops in to be his wingman. “It takes two wings for a bird to dance.” He tells Jess how stupid she is for being embarrassed of his best friend. Jess tries to explain to Nick that it’s not the case, when Abby walks out and says that Jess is actually embarrassed of her.
Abby eases the moment with some comic relief, “Mom was right he does have an uptown butt, I’d like to put that thing in ski pants.”
Abby then tells Nick and Jess that she’ll be staying anywhere from one to six months. Exhausted from her night of deception, Jess takes Nick’s giant sunglasses from the Bar Mitzvah on, says “I love you” and goes to bed.
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