A good portion of what I am about to write here is not news.
It is not news that Robin Thicke’s latest attempt to win back the affections of estranged wife Paula Patton are a misstep at best, and, at worst, downright manipulative and borderline emotional abuse. The video for his newest single “Get Her Back,” is showing Thicke at his most vulnerable yet, bloody and teary eyed, pleading for his ladylove’s affections as text messages (presumably influenced by—if not directly taken from—the conflict between Thicke and Patton) flash across the screen.
It is also not news that the general public’s reaction has been swift and strong. From Aisha Tyler’s diagnosis of the video as “too pathetic to be fake” on a recent episode of TheTalk, to an article in New York magazine about how both Robin Thicke and Adam Levine, with their respective apology campaigns, are the model for bad exes. It seems not many people are in support of the “Blurred Lines” singer’s latest display of remorse. And while at the end of the day, what happens between Robin and Paula will stay between them, based on what information has been made available to the public due to Robin’s actions, some of Robin’s latest attempts are enough to rub anyone the wrong way.
Firstly of course, there is the pity seeking that can clearly be observed in his video. The pleading eyes, coupled with the tears and the blood streaks, intermingled with the apologetic begging texts all scream, “I’m sorry and you should see that and have sympathy for me.” Throughout the entire ordeal, it was made apparent that Robin was in the wrong, and that it was his actions that caused his separation from Paula Patton. In any situation of conflict its perfectly okay if not preferable for the person in the wrong to–well–admit that they were wrong. But when you’re using your apologies as a centerpiece for performance, the focus shifts away from the intended recipient of your apologies and onto you. In short, Robin Thicke seems to be making his marital problems, and his attempts to make amends for them, about showcasing him in all of his helpless glory, as opposed to making them about his wife and apologizing for having wronged her.
This segues into another problem with Thicke’s video, his many performances (all dedicated to Paula, of course) and the album Paula in general. This isn’t simply a mixtape that Robin Thicke gifted to his beloved as a private peace offering or a one-time performance as a supplement to other love gestures. This is a (if Thicke’s previous musical endeavors are any indication) soon-to-be multi-platinum selling record that will rake in fans, awards and money—lots and lots of money. Profiting off of your personal problems is not the way to go about showing that you want them gone. If anything, I’m inclined to think that the average bystander would believe Thicke was milking his problems for all that they are worth. In using his marital woes as material for his latest artistic venture, Robin Thicke is airing his dirty laundry for every fan, hater, and casual R&B listener to see thus subjecting the sordid details of their life to further commentary and possible ridicule. Meanwhile, Paula has remained mum while her business gets put further and further out there.
And what about Paula? Is she still the focal point of all of this, or has she merely become a pawn in her ex-husband’s latest career move? Does Robin Thicke really want to “get her back,” as the song suggests? Or is he just trying to sell records, while garnering public sympathy in the process?
Obviously, marriage and all of the issues that go with it are between the married couple. As such, the two main players of this ordeal, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are under no obligation to answer to the public. But the fact remains, that these are the types of questions that are raised when laypersons are made privy to celebrity’s private life.
I want to believe that no matter what Robin Thicke did to damage his relationship with Paula, their 20+-year love can weather any storm; I (as are many others, I’m sure) want to believe that Robin Thicke is genuinely sorry for his transgressions and that his public displays are true acts of remorse. But Thicke’s exhibitionist approach to fixing his marriage has muddied the waters. His intentions are unclear and it makes it increasingly difficult to muster up sympathy for him. It is clear that Robin wants his woman’s forgiveness, and his efforts, while they may be misguided, are very, very apparent. Part of love is knowing how to say you’re sorry, and it seems that Mr. Thicke still has some learning to do.
Photo courtesy of:INFphoto.com