Kesha is opening up about the eating disorder she had that sent her to rehab, writing an essay about it for Elle UK. She admitted the first day of rehab was one of the toughest days of her life, but she’s ultimately a better person having completed the program.
The “Tik Tok” singer, 27,wrote she worried that fans would assume she checked into rehab for other reasons than an eating disorder, noting she’s actually “responsible” in her real life despite the content of her music.
“I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support,” she wrote.
About her disorder, she explained that her body was “shutting down" on her in the weeks before she checked into rehab, E! Online reports.
"I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body,” she wrote. “I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong." She also admitted that she felt inferior to other celebrities’ bodies, saying she was “overly critical” of her body because of that.
"I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body," she said of her music, which serves as anthems to some young girls. "I wanted to control things that weren't in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job. It felt safer somehow."
image via INFphoto.com