image courtesy of INFphoto.com
As many may already know country/pop star Taylor Swift has been notorious not only for her beautiful golden locks, but her long list of ex’s that just didn’t work out for one reason or another; we’ve all been there, myself included. However, after learning about how each relationship failed, I couldn’t help but notice several relationship mistakes that Taylor has been making. I want to stress that I am not trying to bash Taylor in anyway (she used to be my favorite country singer back in high school and I am still a fan of several of her songs), rather, I want to address the mistakes Taylor has made so that we can all learn from them and hopefully avoid going down the same road. Without further ado, here are five mistakes that Taylor repeats that may be preventing her from finding her true prince charming.
Mistake #1: Dating guys for success and charm, instead of for their personality
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Taylor has dated quite a few men these past couple of years, but there is one thing that the majority of them have in common, their charm. In 2009, Taylor dated John Mayer, a successful song artist in his thirties who has the most soothing, alluring, relaxing voice I have ever heard in my life. Mayer also has a reputation as being a Hollywood womanizer, having dated a diverse of Hollywood gals from Jessica Simpson to Jennifer Aniston, so I was not shocked to find that their romance was short-lived. Taylor also dated One Direction singer Harry Styles while the group was gaining popularity and it is rumored that her song “I knew you were trouble” is about their relationship; in the song she talks about “only being a new notch in the belt” and never being loved. Jake Gyllenhaal, whom Taylor was madly in love with, reportedly spent over $100,000 on a private jet for one of their dates and later on abandoned her. It is clear that Taylor loves men who have a lot going for them, but each of these men have been bad news. Maybe she is the one causing them problem? Or perhaps she has not taken the time to see if these men truly cared for her. If there is something I have learned from several relationship experts, my own relationships, and seeing my friends in tears is that looks, charm, and success may be great, but in the end they all fade away. A man may be handsome or have a lot of money, but if he is a cheater or doesn't treat a woman the way he should, then the relationship is destined for doom.
Mistake #2: Dumping the good guy
In the summer of 2009 Taylor began dating Taylor Lautner. The two were a couple in the movie, Valentine’s Day , which hit theatres just a two months after their reported breakup. Taylor wrote “Back to December” in her album , which is believed to be about the love she shared with Taylor, and admits to wishing she should have never left him. In the song she mentions how he treated her so well and that she wishes she would have never left him. It is unknown the exact reason she left Lautner, but word has it that she left him because she her feelings weren’t as strong as his. I personally don’t understand why girls leave the good guy for a bad guy, when they deep down inside want a man to love them. If Taylor wants to find Mr. right, then she should date someone who is the type that will want to eventually marry and settle down, not the type that just wants temporary gratification.
Mistake #3: Writing songs about ex’s
image courtesy of INFphoto.com
Honestly, part of the reason I lost interest in Taylor’s music for a while was because practically all of her songs are about breakups. While it is normal for to write a few songs about love or heartache, I think that she went a bit over the top with the amount of songs she wrote catered to the subject matter as well as how obvious she made who some of the songs were about. One problem I see with the fact that Taylor writes songs about almost every ex is that it makes her seem as though her only care in the world is boys, which also makes her vulnerable to those who may want to prey on her innocence and use her. The other problem is that things spread like a wildfire when you’re famous and when the audience knows which ex Taylor’s song is about; it can embarrass them and upset them. While this may be her intention, I don’t think she understands that this also can affect her future relationships. Guys may not want to date her because they fear that their relationship may be an open book if it were to end. I think it goes without saying that men like their relationships kept private and will avoid women who don’t respect their wishes.
Mistake #4: Going steady too soon
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Another mistake that Taylor has made is one that I think we all can admit to making, which is becoming exclusive too soon. As I researched each of Taylor’s relationships, I saw that most of them only lasted one to three months, and that none of them lasted a year or longer. Studies have shown that the longer you take to date someone, the better off you are because you get to know who they are and see things at face value. When you date someone you just met, there is a “honeymoon” stage in which you are so excited at the thought of romance, that you overlook red flags or signs that show incompatibility. I once dated someone without knowing him at all and ended up heartbroken when he cheated on me; I learned from that relationship to always get to know someone first. I hope that Taylor learns from her mistakes when it comes to future relationships as well.
Mistake #5: Talking about marriage too soon
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I have always dreamed of my perfect wedding day ever since I was a little girl and I imagine I’m not alone. Marriage is a normal desire and it is ok to want it, but it should not be mentioned early in a relationship for several reasons. The first reason talk about marriage should be held off is that it often scares men into thinking that they have to commit so soon, without being assured that they have made the right decision, which in turn may cause a man to leave a woman he actually loves. Another problem is that it puts a lot of pressure on a man to both please his girl and himself. The third problem talking about marriage too soon is that it causes the woman to fall head over heels in love with the man she is with as she dreams of their future together, which is one that I have learned the hard way myself. When you think you are with the guy you are going to marry and he secretly doesn’t feel the same, then you get hurt and suffer from a heartbreak that is hard to overcome. I thought I was going to marry my last ex and even spent a lot of money to see his boot camp graduation in Texas, only to find that he had been questioning the relationship and wanted to breakup. Taylor made the same mistake I did when she dated Jake Gyllenhaal. She fell in love with Gyllenhaal and thought he was the one, so she allegedly compromised her standards and gave her virginity up; he eventually abandoned her and left her heartbroken on her 21rst birthday. My heart goes out to Taylor because I know that she probably still deals with regret and hurt to this day.
My hope is that my remarks on Taylor’s dating life help everyone who reads this learns from both of our mistakes. How do you feel about Taylor’s dating life? Is there any different advice you would give?