I’m not gonna lie, I’m not sold on Blake Shelton as a Saturday Night Live host. I mean, he’s a good Voice judge and displays a wry sense of humor on the judging panel, but Shelton strikes me as a type who’s only at home playing well inside his good ol’ boy, backwoods persona. While SNL can definitely work within those limits, to be a good SNL host means being versatile and able to blend in with a variety of different sketches. Will he be able to do that or will it be The Blake Shelton Comedy Hour?

Like I always do, I’ll be writing the recaps “live,” meaning I’ll watch a sketch and immediately write a short blurb reviewing and recapping it. For each segment, I’ll rate it on a scale of 0-5 stars. At the end of the piece, I’ll share some quick overall thoughts and the best/worst sketch of the night.
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Bill Belichick Press Conference: *
So I’m not an NFL fan and only know the bare minimum about the so-called deflate-gate that I gleaned from other people’s tweets. So there’s a very small possibility that I missed some piece of insider baseball (or, erm, football) that made the sketch work. But I’m not so sure. To me, it just seemed terribly unfunny and terribly long. I’m sure there’s good, funny material to be written about this scenario, but this just seemed lazy and predictable and dull.

Opening Monologue: * * * ½
Blake Shelton, the self-described “Justin Bieber of country music,” feels out of place at SNL so he turns the show into a remake of Hee Haw, the corny and corn-fed late ‘60s sketch comedy show. While the bit ran about two jokes too long, the casts’ energy was infectious, especially Moynihan’s kook with a jug and Jones’ seething country gal. Is this a monologue I’ll remember by next week, probably not, but it’s kicking the show off to a fine start nonetheless.

Farm Hunk: * * ½
This sketch has a very basic concept. Girls on TV dating shows are all stupid hoes (if you pardon the expression). It’s a premise that would be tired when The Bachelor premiered in 2002. The weird, off-beat moments of racism from the Farm Hunk and Strong’s contestant almost take this sketch in an interesting direction but too quickly it reverts back into bland, ’The Bachelor contestants are stupid’ jokes.

The Wishin’ Boot: * *
Where has Bryant’s Wynonna impression been all my life? Seriously, just that visual made me laugh harder than anything so far tonight. I also quite liked the idea of a surreal country ditty that could better utilize Shelton’s talents. While Bryant’s verse was pretty funny, the song seemed to go on forever and lacked any real musical oomph to keep the energy going on the song’s paper-thin premise.

Family Feud: * ½
I must admit, I actually uttered the words “oh no” to my empty living room when I saw the Family Feud set as the last two outings of this sketch have been pointless impression-o-ramas. It’s also a bad sign that, half an hour in, Shelton is already playing himself. But, my fears were quickly founded as this version of Feud made the previous two installments feel like Celebrity Jeopardy-level gems. Seriously, besides the idea that Christina Aguilera is “Latina the way Taco Bell is Mexican food,” which was a pretty apt observation, the sketch felt like it was 20 minutes long with only about 10 seconds of actual humor. We’re in for a rough one tonight, folks. Pray for me.

Weekend Update: * * * *
I liked the loose, rough around the edges style of this week’s Update. Jost and Che laughed more at each other’s jokes and seemed to interact and improvise more than normal. Perhaps the answer to Jost/Che’s blandness as cohosts come from building up their fictional WU relationship. Having Che’s friend Riblet and ex-girlfriend surely fleshed out his character and it totally worked (well, Riblet totally worked, the girlfriend bit seemed to go on far too long). But if this is the direction the segment is going, I’m a happy camper.

Texas Man Gobbler Parole Hearing: * ½
Wouldn’t it be funny if we had a sketch about the parole hearing of a convicted serial killer and cannibal? Wouldn’t that be hilarious? No? Really? No…

Topeka Today: * *
So far, Blake Shelton has played a country bumpkin, a country singer, a country parole officer and Blake Shelton twice. Great range there, buddy! Also a theme running through the entire episode is sketches that seem to go on forever. This one, which basically involving a hate song written for a guy’s dead wife, had some funny moments but they were too few and far between. There’s a good sketch somewhere in this concept, but it needed to be pushed a lot farther.

Magic Show: *
You know what? I’m grumpy and tired and a sketch about a guy who asks a magician for the ability to “go down on himself” didn’t make me feel any better.

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Best Sketch: Weekend Update, I guess, was the most solid and least cringe or sleep inducing.

Worst Sketch: Do I really have to choose? It’s a toss up.

Musical Guest: Blake Shelton
You know who’s having fun tonight? Shelton’s blonde back-up singer. You know who’s not? Me. I’m not really a country fan and I don’t have much to say about Shelton’s two songs, but I can say he’s a better musician than he is sketch comedian. Take that any way you will.

Overall Thoughts:
Aw shucks, you guys. This was a bad SNL episode. A really bad SNL episode. Yes, Shelton wasn’t very good but I can’t help but blame the poor writing that sunk every sketch before he even opened his mouth. I’m hoping next week with the exceptionally talented J.K. Simmons will be better. I know one thing, it can’t get much worse.