David Duchovny, best known for his roles as Fox Mulder in The X-Files and Hank Moody in Californication, is now an author! His first book, Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale, was released on Feb. 3 through Farrar, Straus and Giroux Publishing.
The story's narrator is Elsie, a dairy cow, who is unfortunate enough to witness via the "Box God" (a television set), a cow being slaughtered. From that point on, her life is changed forever and she begins to do her research. She learns that cows are not only kept safe in India, but that they are also treated as gods, so she decides to travel from America to India in an attempt to live in safety and peace.
As Elsie is making her preparations, word spreads across the farm and Elsie brings on two new recruits; Jerry, a pig who calls himself Shalom and a turkey named Tom. Shalom wants to live in Israel, where the people refuse to eat pigs. Tom, who is determined to keep his weight down with Thanksgiving only a month away, desires to live in Turkey.
Needless to say, hilarity ensues as the three decide to book flights to their designated countries and live out their lives in comfort and safety. Of course there are multiple bumps along the road and each character learns quite a bit about themselves, humanity, and about each other.
There are many moments that delight, throwing the reader back into the excited curiosity felt so often in childhood. Silly dialogue sets a fun, upbeat mood, such as the line, "It was a pretty moonless night. It was pretty, and it was moonless, so it was pretty moonless."
Elsie's character begins with her being silly, often wandering off in short digressions, and generally staying calm and funny. As the story progresses and the determination and gravity of certain situations sink in, her character's tone changes from the adorable rambler to the contemplative leader of the pack.
If you are looking for something that is entertaining and nonsensical at times, this is the book for you. It is important to note that this is a fairy tale and not to be taken as simple fiction. The audiences that will best benefit are those who maintain open minds and allow themselves to enter into a world where a cow can disguise itself as a human and a turkey can learn to fly.
It is an interesting read with fleeting moments of serious contemplation and several references to great music. It is no literary genius of a book, and it is not an allegory, it simply is.
I have given this book a 3/5 because it is entertaining enough to be read once, perhaps again in a few years, but not directly after. As with all fairy tales, this is to be read with a grain of salt and, for those of you who still have doubts, it is suggested by the author to "trust the tail, not the teller."