The Kardashians are officially back ladies and gents, with the second episode of the season starting off with the Lord himself doing what he does best- calling his sister-in-laws out on their shit. He comments to Kylie on what we’ve all been witnessing for months: “You should want your nose to almost hit your lip…plump ‘er up!” No one does sarcasm like the Lord.
His credentials for Kris’s next boy toy:
1. African American “100%”
2. Good looking
3. Semi funny
4. Same age, but “she’s definitely a cougar,” and we all know she likes to think she’s still in her 40’s.
Although, he finally comes to the conclusion that heshould just date Kris, because clearly that makes the most sense…Let’s be honest though, if he’s offering and she doesn’t want him, I volunteer as tribute.
At least we know Kylie is aware her lips look ridiculous and can laugh at herself (even though I’m slightly jealous of them and may or may not have bought the exact lipstick she uses. MAC Brave anyone?).
It seems Scott really does know his mother-in-law well. Kris Jenner is making her debut into the 21st century dating pool with Justin Bieber’s tour manager, Corey Gamble, who by the way is younger than both Kim and Kourtney.
She describes him to Khloe as “super chill” and “super cool.” I love you Kris, but you’re nearly 60 and cannot be saying things like this while wearing leather leggings and cheetah high-top sneakers, my friend.
In a testament to how far removed Kourtney is from some of the Kardashian empire building, while Khloe tries to talk to her about signing the legal documents for Kim’s video game, Kourtney is completely distracted by a pair of baby shoes. Khloe proceeds to bang her head on the table. The gesture seemed warranted.
On another note, can we all just take a moment to appreciate how literally adorable P is?
Khloe seems to be genuinely confused by the harsh reaction people had to the caption, “Sheik Pussy,” on her Insta picture of Scott dressed as an Arabic sheik for Halloween. The thing is, nearly everything Khloe says she says with tongue in cheek. You either hate it or love it. #teamKhloeforlife
Best moment of the show: Kim expressing how she’s nervous Kris is taking her relationship too fast and Scott responding, “Didn’t you get married both times after a couple months?” Yes, Scott, yes she did.
The entire episode I couldn’t help but think of last week when Kris was freaking out about Bruce hanging out with one of her friends. Which, at the time, seemed reasonable until she was out in a club with Corey and he whispers in her ear, “I am one lucky mother******.” Literally. So we’re suppose to believe this doesn’t affect Bruce at all? What about when Kim admits Kris’s sex wakes her up in the middle of the night? I’m sure that’s what every recently divorced former husband loves to hear.
This episode premiered only 10 hours after Rob Kardashian, who has been completely MIA for over two years now, slammed Kim posting this picture to his Instagram:
If you recall, the "girl from Gone Girl" was a sociopathic murder...
Kourtney and Kim worked out their issues about the video game. Hopefully, Rob and Kim can move past whatever it is that compelled him to stoop to social media to confront his big sister.
Image courtesy INF photo