The Bachelorette train continues to chug along as a new group of seemingly eligible men vie for the heart of the lovely, Ms. Kaitlyn Bristowe. With the never ending list of failed Bachelorette couples, it is quite odd that every year we still have throngs of hopeful singles lining up for the chance to find love, or to at least get their 15 minutes of fame (forgive me, I'm a cynic). This year’s Bachelorette, Kaitlyn Bristowe, has started off the season in good form, flirting up a storm, and kissing all the boys, not kidding, my kiss counter is now at 6 men, in week two alone (JJ, Joe, Ian, Clint, Ben Z. and Jared), but I ain't mad at you girl. Enjoy!
Oh Kupah (sssshhhhhhhh)!
Last week’s (week 2’s) episode concludes with a frustrated Kupah questioning whether Kaitlyn is only keeping him on board because he is African American and she wants to fulfill some sort of quota. He approaches Kaitlyn with his frustrations, which anger her because she feels that he is the one who is not putting in any effort. After Kailyn overhears him speaking negatively about her to the other men, she promptly confronts him and asks him to leave, which he does not take kindly to. He steps outside and insists that he doesn't want to go, arguing and yelling at the camera man and director. Kaitlyn again overhears him (Kupah, when will you learn how to use your inside voice), and runs outside to see why he has become so loud and belligerent. The episode ends with an ominous…To be continued…If you are like me, this is all the show needs to do to make sure you tune in for the next episode. Damn, they know how to keep us hooked.
Now that we're all caught up, let's dive right into week 3. We begin the episode at the tail end of Kupah's rant. Kaitlyn handles the situation like a pro, calmly telling Kupah that it's definitely his time to go. Sidebar: Maybe some of these men should really consider not drinking at these cocktail parties. Alcohol combined with such a tense environment seems to be pushing some of them over the edge, yes, we're talking about you, Ryan McDill.
To Sumo or not to Sumo?
We then see the rose ceremony, and let's just put it this way, once you've seen one rose ceremony, you've seen them all. The contestants safe from elimination are: Ben H, Ben Z, Chris, Clint, Corey, Ian, Jared, JJ, Joe, Jonathan, Joshua, Justin, Ryan, Shawn, Tanner, and Tony.
Now moving on swiftly to the first group date. The men have the opportunity to Sumo Wrestle, loincloth and all. Kaitlyn gets an eyeful during this date, especially from Joe who lets it all hang out, literally. The men get tossed around by the professional wrestlers and have a great time, except Tony, who is angry because he would rather not participate in group challenges that involve any sort of aggression. He says that he would instead rather go to the Zoo, yes folks, the Zoo. When Kaitlyn approaches him to try to comfort him, he launches into one of his, as I like to call them, "Tony sermons", that revolve around nature, love, peace, and having the heart of a child. The Bachelorette is definitely not the place for this guy, and just like that, Tony packs his bags and leaves.
At the after party Kaitlyn starts to rack up points on the night’s kiss counter; first kiss goes to Chris, aka, cupcake, and the 2nd kiss goes to Shawn B, who also gets the group date rose.
The dark room
Ben Z gets the one on one date, which Kaitlyn is thrilled about, and who can blame her. He is one tall, large, man, as she makes sure to point out many times during the day. For their date, they are trapped in a dark room with snakes, scorpions, a picture of Brit, a mummy in a bed, and a whole slew of other terrifying things. They have to find clues in order to make their way out of the room. Kaitlyn has a mild panic attack when she sees the birds, and Ben Z also has a minor freak out when he encounters the snakes. But he is a gentle man the whole time, holding her hand and protecting her. They bond during this date with Ben also puts up a point on the kiss counter. That’s 3. During their romantic night at Kaitlyn’s hotel room, they eat pizza, drink champagne, sit in the hot tub, and Ben Z get a rose.
Sex Ed
For the 2nd group date, the men get to teach sex education to a group of teenagers, who are, unbeknownst to them, a group of child actors. The men do surprisingly well, fumbling and awkwardly giggling the whole way there. During the evening portion of their date, Ben H snags the next kiss and the rose of the night, and Jared also sneaks in a kiss. High 5!
Are they or aren't they?
During the week, ABC teased us with a trailer titled “Brokeback Bachelor”, insinuating that JJ and Clint were beginning to build a romantic relationship. During the episode it is hard to tell whether these rumors are true or fabricated for publicity because, as Clint himself puts it, “I love JJ”. During the episode we see the two men bonding, and Clint making no effort whatsoever to connect with Kaitlyn. During the night of the rose ceremony, Clint tries to redeem himself, sweet talking Kaitlyn and kissing her, that makes 6 by the way, but confesses that he does not have any interest in Kaitlyn, he is only fighting for a rose so he can spend more time with JJ. Um What? Kaitlyn, who has been hearing rumors of trouble and tension between the men in the house speaks with men, and almost all of them confess to her that JJ and Clint are the problem, because they have chosen to play the role of the villains.
Kaitlyn is outraged as she thought her and Clint had a connection, so she pulls Clint aside at the end of the episode, as they walk over to the side to have their conversation, a voice over plays of Kaitlyn saying, "Clint is one of the biggest douches in Bachelor history. Clint has no idea what's in store for him. He is going down in flames." That’s where it ends. Until next week.
P.S. Justin also got a kiss the night of the rose ceremony, which makes 7. You go girl!