Walter awakens from a dream of Burt Lancaster swimming. Harry tells him it must mean that he’s getting somewhere. Bertie has spent the night.
Teddy and Rosalie are at the doctor’s office. They’re going to do tests because of his memory problems. He asks the doctor whether he’ll be able to have as many erections if he has dementia. He and Rosalie have sex every other day.
Harry and Walter are fighting with wooden swords to show Bertie what a samurai is. Walter suggests showing Bertie the movie Seven Samurai.
Walter is going to give a speech at a college. He arrives to pick up Celia, who has his speech and finds men loading her piano onto a truck. He asks her why she sold it as it was her father’s. She tells him it’s to pay him back for her gambling debt he paid off. Walter and Harry get into the car and Celia says she has to play the piano one more time. She climbs on the truck which then takes off. Walter and Harry give chase, but lose her.
Rosalie tells Walter he doesn’t need a speech and to just be himself. As they’re announcing him, Celia shows up at the venue. She gives him a folder with the speech and he climbs the stage. He starts to read, but instead it’s a speech by David Foster Wallace, and a student calls him out as a plagiarist. It then explodes all over the internet.
Walter blames Celia. He says she’s been erratic lately. He says she might be more troubled than Jim.
Celia calls Jim and wants to come over. He runs around trying to clean up what the cleaners left of his hoarding stash. Celia feels bad because Walter is mad at her. She met him when she was 12. He came to her school and picked her essay for a contest. Jim says she should tell Walter. She makes him promise that he’ll never tell.
Shelly is rubbing Celia’s back because she’s stressed. Shelly says she had a dream that she kissed her. She asks if they can kiss now, before working.
Rosalie tells Martin that Teddy was confused again the day after the doctor’s visit. Rosalie says she values Martin’s friendship and she doesn’t want to put any restrictions on him. He tells her he has other special friends.
Jim tells Walter that Celia feels terrible about what happened. Walter says she should. He opens Celia’s office door and finds Shelly and Celia kissing. He tells her that she’s turned her office into a boudoir. He stalks out saying, “Who kisses so early in the morning?”
Harry tells Walter that Bertie and his mother are on their way up because Bertie hit a child at pre-school for talking bad about Walter. Bertie’s mom tells him he could be kicked out if it happens again. Walter says he’s proud of Bertie for standing up for him. His mother says Bertie said he was a samurai and asks if Walter showed him a violent movie. Walter says no. He asks to come by after work to talk to Bertie.
Walter and his crew meet in the conference room. Celia tells Walter that she’s booked a media writer from the L.A. Times for him to interview and talk about how his stoning on the internet is an example of how the internet is killing investigative journalism.
Walter tells his crew that they should stop using their offices for sexual encounters. Spooning is okay. Harry asks about towel whipping. Walter says that’s not sexual. Harry is surprised.
On Walter’s show, the L.A. Times man accuses him of plagiarizing in his book. Walter accuses him of trying to make a name for himself from Walter’s misery and signs off.
Walter yells at Celia for booking the man on the show. Celia apologizes. Walter tells her she’s been unfocused for weeks and he’s disappointed with her. Jim tells him Celia has loved him since she was 12. Celia gets upset and quits.
Walter talks to Bertie about his fight. He tells Bertie to be kind to the mean boy and no more hitting.
Harry finds the newspaper article about Celia’s essay in Walter’s scrapbooks. Walter says they have to get her back.
Harry and Walter carry an electric piano up the steps to Celia’s house. It falls out of the box and slides down the stairs where it crashes onto Jim on his rollerblades. Celia hears the noise and comes out. They wave and Jim holds up flowers.
Walter apologizes to Celia and she forgives him. He says he always expects women to be perfect, but that’s not fair. He’s been too hard on her.
Image courtesy of Starz Entertainment