Tamra Judge revealed some emotional information about her custody battle with her ex-husband Simon Barney on Monday’s Real Housewives of Orange County reunion for the first time publicly.

The former couple’s daughter, Sidney, has lived with her father for two years now and has virtually no relationship with her mother. Judge never mentions the situation on the show and she now breaks her silence about it.

"I really feel like I'm going to die right now,” she said of how she felt at her lowest point. “I just don't have any help.”

Through tears she explained how Sidney sat her down one day and told her she wanted to live solely with her dad, accusing her mom of “ruining” his life.

“I had no idea where it was coming from,” she said, Us Weekly reports. “And she basically left that day and two years later has not come back. I was trying to do everything I could do to try to get her back and I didn’t understand why Sidney left.”

Judge also revealed after a nasty court battle, a judge ruled Sidney can ultimately decide who she wants to live with. “Right after that, my son, Spencer, wouldn’t speak to his dad and now he lives with me full-time,” she said. “So the whole family is so separated.”