Justin Bieber has made a lot of progress in his personal life and career after hitting a rough patch, but he’s now being proactive about falling back to his old ways. In a lengthy and honest Instagram post, the “Sorry” singer has explained why he’s decided to cancel his meet and greets after shows.

Bieber wrote that he finds it impossible to live up to the expectations set on him and often finds himself leaving the meet and greets depressed.

He wrote that when he leaves, he takes with him “much of other people's spiritual energy that I end up so drained and unhappy.” He added, “Want to make people smile and happy but not at my expense.”

In order to deliver the best show possible, he said he wants to stay in a “healthy mindset.” Bieber added that he wishes it “wasn't so hard on me," but that's the way it is.