There was plenty of hype for this season’s “Women Tell All” special. After all, this has been a season of record breakers. According to Chris Harrison, a record number of women told Ben they love him this season and he’s the first Bachelor to confess he loves one of the contestants on air before the finale...and twice. Unfortunately for those of us less patient than the ever unflappable Bachelor host, Chris isn’t breaking on who Ben chose.

Starting the night off with some fun, Ben and Chris crash some viewing parties. They sneak into some houses and each party appropriately freaks out. The best viewer is the girl who tells the camera, “At one point, I think I asked Ben to move in me? I am married but I’m beginning to question it.” Chris and Ben have the most fun when they crash a sorority house, though, with Chris Harrison being the real champ on these excursions.

Back to the showdown, our panel this evening featured Lace, Tiara + Sheila the Chicken, Amber, Jami, Izzy, Rachel, Jubilee, Jennifer, Shushanna, Lauren H., Olivia, Leah, Becca, Haley, Emily, Amanda, and Caila. In case you’re as confused as the rest of us, Tiara and Izzy didn’t make it past the first night so we’re not exactly sure what they were doing there either.

Chris Harrison, eager for the drama to start, asks the girls their recollection of the first night. As the first girl introduced on the show, Caila goes first and sings Ben’s praises, explaining that on a night that’s so nerve wracking, Ben made sure to make them all comfortable. Jami goes on to expound that the girls were all nervous that night as they walked into a room full of beautiful girls and realized they’re all there for one guy.

Bringing on the first of many highlight reels, we get a quick recap of what’s happened on the show so far. Watching the girls watch themselves is equal parts hilarious and full of second-hand embarrassment. Lace is clearly uncomfortable but amused by her actions...and is humbled quickly as she watches her experience crash. Jubilee is super critical of herself and so is everyone else. Amber, apparently still holding a grudge from the night Jubilee cried in a bathroom after being shut out by everyone, refuses to feel any sympathy for her.

However, no one has it worse than Leah, who got booed several times and also gets to watch herself lying about throwing Lauren B. under the bus with Ben while the twins watch angrily at that situation unfolding. Their mood quickly changes as they get to see Olivia’s own journey; though Olivia does not enjoy watching herself, the twins are still amused at Ben tricking Olivia into eating the mint in Mexico. Also made evident? Amanda’s ire over the Teen Mom comment.

Summing it up best: Emily’s quick quip, “That was rough.”

Second best: everyone wasting no time at all on calling Olivia on her behavior. Emily still has not let that tension go.

Leah, who gets booed for a second time, gets a chance to explain her actions in the Bahamas. Turns out, Lauren B. apparently made a comment that the girls were “losers” if they hadn’t had a one-on-one (and Leah was the only one who never got one with Ben, a point she made very clear when she confronted him on the beach that week). Jami and Becca don’t give her a chance to keep lying, though; when Leah says she had no choice but to lie, Becca tells her it was offensive that Leah had a chance to own up to it and lied straight to her face instead.

At this point, it’s clear the claws are out. Fan favorite Jubilee tries to be neutral but Amber is so not about her. Sensing the tension, Lauren H. tries to play kindergarten teacher and stay even but Shushanna straight up tells Jubilee, “a lot of girls really thought you were not gonna come back.” Apparently, this isn’t even what has the girls mad; Jami and Amber haven’t had the best of feelings for her since she made an offhanded comment that not only was the the only “full black girl” (referring to both Jami and Amber being mixed), but she was going to be the one of them who went the farthest. When Jubilee tries to say she never made that comment, Shushanna reminds her that she was there for that comment and Jubilee is backed into a corner and forced to admit that she “probably did” make a comment like that but it was misunderstood because her sense of humor was “off” during her time on the show.

Update: we’re only thirty minutes in and tissues are already out. Oh, boy.

Hot Seat #1: Jubilee

“I knew I was going to have to defend myself because I’m a very controversial person,” she says. Watching her highlight reel with Ben is endearing until it’s heartbreaking; they had such a great first night and watching her open up to him definitely was essential to his journey on the show. I don’t think he would’ve been so eager in getting everyone to open up had she not opened up to him so much. However, it’s also evident that her insecurities were never going to let them get really close to each other.

It’s especially hard when we get to the end, when she tearily announced, “I feel like the most unlovable person in the world right now.” She explains that it’s not necessarily that she feels unlovable, but “hard to love.” She’s grateful that she was able to open up, to not have him look at her any different because of her past but also explains that for a “reality” show, there’s not that much reality to it because it’s not “real” that one guy would date all 28 of them.

But, most of all, she’s honest about how her insecurities and jealousy were what ruined her, that she got in her own way by acting “self-destructive.” Host Chris Harrison must also be The Bachelor’s Official Therapist™ after he gives her the perfect parting words: how special must it have been to finally open up to someone and have them “get” her? Jubilee admitted it was not only nice, but helpful.

As for an update: since she’s still technically an active military member, she’s currently in the reserves but just made Sargeant. Cheers, girl.

Hot Seat #2: Lace

“You came in and really stirred things up,” Chris told her in the most succinct description of Lace ever. Watching her slur her way through all of her video diaries is still hilarious but still gives me the same sense of embarrassment it did the first time around. It’s also really sad watching her cry and try to convince them, “I’m a really fun person to be around, I promise.” Still good natured about the whole thing, she’s being a good sport about her portrayal on the show. Unlike Olivia, when Lace stirred things up on the show, I just wanted to wrap her in a blanket and protect her; it was clear that she was not only uncomfortable, but not having a good time, despite how eagerly the girls were trying to make her into a villain.

As expected, she plays the, “I was so uncomfortable, I didn’t know what to do,” card but the girls don’t seem to necessarily buy it. Since the show, she’s become “self-aware” in her interactions with other people, avoiding the word crazy and honest with the fact that she wants to love herself before she can let someone put a ring on her finger but she’s nowhere close to that.

So, for levity, we get bombed by a guy who has her face tattooed on his body. “We need better security,” Chris Harrison mumbles as their stage crasher strips off his shirt.. He also asks her once again to be on Bachelor in Paradise and she finally agrees.

Hot Seat #3: Olivia

Chris Harrison spares no niceties in reminding Olivia how their connection was instantaneous before crashing just as quickly. Her face and overconfidence in their relationship are on full display during her own “highlight” reel while the girls all smirk watching how crazy she got over Ben and knowing her fate. Also on the clip collection is the night where Ben found out Olivia was not as “cool” as she seemed. “I’m not like the other girls; I wanna talk...smart...things,” still remains the best quote on this season of The Bachelor and I’m glad they’re not going to let us forget it.

Watching her get left behind on the island is still enough to make you almost pity her, before you remember she called Amanda Teen Mom and it’s easy to forget.

“I remember watching the first episode and crying because it started so well and I just don’t know where it went wrong,” she shrugs and you have to wonder if she watched any of the other episodes this season. Olivia’s still holding on to the idea that Ben was the perfect guy, her ideal guy, and that he made her feel amazing.

The audience and the girls are all not convinced by her act. Amanda, Emily, and Haley are all laughing in the background, which makes it all the better. The three straight up call her out on lying once more, with the audience in full support of them. Leah tries to come to Olivia’s defense but Emily wastes no time in shutting her down.

When Chris asks if she felt ganged up on, Olivia explains she was doing what she was used to: being alone. Shout out to Jennifer who doesn’t let her play the victim, telling her that had she made an effort, “you would’ve realized that we like to read books and talk smart things, too.” As she keeps trying to get people to be on her side, even Chris Harrison looks unamused. Izzy (again, who?) asks her why she didn’t learn what not to do considering she came from a past of bullying and Olivia breaks down, admitting that she doesn’t even have control of her social media accounts right now because she’s not sure how to deal with all the attacks.

In the most humanizing moment on the tell-all, she apologizes to the girls. “If there was a guidebook on how to be on this show and please twenty-eight women, I would’ve read it and maybe I would’ve done better.” The girls all seem to accept it, even Amanda giving her a genuine smile and seeming to come to terms with her.

Final Hot Seat: Caila

From their awkward Ride Along to watching them open up and blossom around each other, their highlight reel is unarguably the most heartbreaking. If they had just a couple more weeks to truly explore their feelings, it’s likely that Ben and Caia would’ve ended up together. Rewatching their final scene together, though, is still just as painful as it was the first time, seeing her face go from happy to knowing and experiencing her tearful car ride home...it hurts.

The entire audience is silent and her mood goes from bubbly to somber. It’s the first time she’s watched this footage and it’s apparent that the day is still hard for her to think on. “It was hard for me to realize that my heart could love that way,” she admits, explaining that she still cares for him deeply.

She stays her positive self, saying it’s helped her watch his progression of his relationships with Jojo and Lauren B. “I want someone to look at me that way,” she says. Caila does admit that it hurt a lot to watch him say he loved Lauren B. and Jojo and not her, though. When Chris grills her on Ben being there and if she misses him, she admits she does but remains the only girl in the hot seat to not breakdown over her time on the show.

Watching her banter with Chris definitely got me excited for the possibility of her being the next Bachelorette.

Ben Faces His Exes

The moment we all waited for: Ben finally came face to face with all the ladies he sent home. “Look at this firing squad! They’re beautiful but they’re very fierce,” Chris Harrison warns him. He goes straight for the kill, though. “You told two women you love them! Do you realize the mess you’re in?” Ben grimaces but smoothes past it, avoiding the subject like the PR pro he’s been this entire season.

He addresses Caila first, hoping she knows how serious he did take their relationship and how much he truly appreciates her. She, in turn, thanks him for being genuine through the entire journey but hopes her confusion didn’t stall anything. He maintains they were understanding each other, even if it wasn’t coming out right.

Leah goes next, asking why he immediately told Lauren B. what she said that fateful night in the Bahamas. She tries to blame everyone but herself for the fact that she “unintentionally lied” (...yeah, we don’t get it either) but Ben tells her that her reaction was not his fault. Props to Ben for actually standing his ground on that one; I definitely had expected him to play it off and apologize.

Jubilee is third, trying to play it cool despite how awkward this entire situation is. In the first real moment of the night, she refuses to beat around the bush about the fact that he found it attractive when Caila told him she wasn’t sure if she could love him and how Jojo was having trouble opening up but he decided she wasn’t worth it when she pulled away. Ben, ever the peacekeeper, says that their goodbye was more than that; he tells her that it took a lot more for her to open up and that, despite their issues being open with him later, Jojo and Caila were still communicating with him.

He reiterates to the girls that they were an amazing bunch and that he hopes they don’t take anything that happened as entirely their fault; considering they were in the relationship together, he’s equally to blame for the faults as the women were.

I mean, seriously. How is he real?

Amanda, who lost her voice, says she’s at peace with everything that happened, especially watching it back and getting to see how emotional he got after she left. Becca feels equally at peace, feeling glad there’s “a sense of comfort knowing there’s guys like [him] out there.”

Rounding out the evening, Ben finally admits he’s totally in love after refusing to comment on what happened at the end of the season when the season was first starting to air and is happier than ever. He even goes so far to admit he would “marry her tomorrow if [he] could.” Chris Harrison jokes to keep him to that promise and even Ben

The Bloopers: Bachelor Behind the Scenes

In no surprise, Jojo remains the coolest girl on the show after the blooper reel, hands down. After a lot of screaming about bugs and joking around, it’s nice to know the girls kept themselves entertained and actually did get along in the house.

The best moment is, however, Becca having a conversation with one of the girls in the Bahamas and accidentally calling Ben “Chris” before immediately looking at the camera in shock and exclaiming, “Oh! Wrong season!”

We’ve got one more week before we find out who takes the final rose home and get our next special, “After the Final Rose.” My first season of The Bachelor is almost at a wrap and I am still as clueless of who will take home the final rose as I was at the start (remember: my bet was originally #TeamAmanda after initial introductions) so I’m excited to see how next week’s three hour special ends up.

Next week’s sneak peek promises the return of Ben’s parents -- and after his mother’s disapproval of Emily causing her to be sent home. It also teases Ben consoling one of the contestants on the bathroom floor and admitting that yes, he does in fact love both of them - much to the surprise of all the girls on the panel watching the promotional clip.