Someone actually wrote their master’s dissertation on The Daily Show. One of Jon Stewart’s Monday audience members had Stewart announce his feat at the beginning of the episode. He wanted his parents to know he wasn’t a loser. Stewart seemed less convinced. I think it takes a fool to invest the time of one’s career in writing about The Daily Show, but I digress.
Stewart got right back into the election with a segment entitled Floridal Combat. Mortal Combat was to become somewhat of a theme in Monday’s episode. Mitt Romney had an early and significant lead over Newt Gingrich in the Florida primary, until Gingrich “unleashed his patented dick-fu in South Carolina.” After each clip in the succeeding bash-Romney montage, Stewart spliced in one of a Mortal Combat strike finding its target. Gingrich’s attack was evidently successful, so much so that he declared “by the end of my second term . . . we will have the first permanent base on the moon.” But, Romney fought back with all the tenacity one might expect of a multi-millionaire. The montage of Romney’s Mortal Combat character’s comeback culminated with Romney’s declaration that “If I had a business executive come to me and say that they wanted to spend a few hundred billion dollars to put a colony on the moon, I’d say, ‘you’re fired.’” Gingrich replied with calls for a truce. “What are you doing, Gingrich? You’ve gone belly-up!” was Stewart’s response. “Watch Romney exploit the advantage by using Newt Gingrich’s very own this-is-all-so-sad move on Gingrich, himself.” Romney’s finishing move was the claim of his marital fidelity.
For some reason, women don’t seem to like Gingrich. Jason Jones reported from Miami. “If Newt Gingrich is going to win the Florida primary tomorrow he’ll have to win over one of the most influential voting blocks, the ladies. So, I assembled a panel of Florida women to gage Gingrich’s chances.” Jones’ first question was a simple “Is there anything Newt Gingrich can say or do to win your vote?” The ladies responded with an equally simple “nothing.” As they debated, a pattern, surprisingly, emerged. The divorced ladies of the room exalted their distrust for the man, while those still married differentiated between Gingrich the person and Gingrich the candidate. Those able to differentiate, minority though they were, actually found themselves in favor of Gingrich the candidate for his ability to separate his work from his personal life. It seems Gingrich will have to hope for a majority of married, women voters on Tuesday.
Stewart’s Monday guest was host of the Fox Business Channel’s Lou Dobbs Tonight, Lou Dobbs. Dobbs sat down and Stewart bated him into a complimentary word about the economy. Stewart pounced. “How will Fox Business News blame that on Obama?” “President Obama has all his causal relationships already established,” Dobbs replied. “We just report the facts.” “Now, when did that start?” Stewart wondered aloud. He went on to ask Dobbs his take on the republican primary, in light of its recent bitterness. “We love it,” was Dobbs’ reply. “A year ago, you tell me anybody who would’ve predicted that the Republican Primary would be interesting, galvanizing, compelling, entertaining. Come on, I mean, this is really good stuff.” Stewart had to agree, but added that it is only so in the way “that Fear Factor is.” Stewart did admit he appreciated the debates as a “democratizing element” which can help to offset some of the bug money in politics. “I agree with you 100%,” said Dobbs. Stewart attempted revive his argument, that to criticize capitalism isn’t to oppose capitalism, with Dobbs, but “I think the idea in the country is very wealthy people have gerrymandered certain districts to create a wealth incumbency. Is that attacking capitalism or is that attacking a perversion of capitalism?” turned into a discussion of a federal judge in San Antonio, Texas. Stewart, ultimately, concluded he and Dobbs could make a very funny movie together about a road trip to Mexico.
Stewart’s Moment of Zen was interrupted by Stephen Colbert on Monday. Colbert wanted his super PAC back, but Stewart refused. The scene ended in a chase through the halls of The Daily Show in which no matters were resolved.