In the wake of her father’s death, Cosmopolitan cover girl Demi Lovato is opening up about the beginning of her struggles with depression and how she plans to celebrate her 21st birthday.
"At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling," the 20-year-old singer told the magazine, People reports, of her time on television’s Barney and Friends .
"Looking back, there was a connection,” Lovato explained of her early mental health problems. “Probably between any kid who's ever sang that song to Barney, a little place in a child's heart, a void, that could be filled. And maybe Barney fills it. Even before Barney, I was suicidal. I was 7."
The “Heart Attack” singer was spoke candidly about her self harm and her perspective on the party lifestyle that singers and celebrities have been promoting since the 1980s. Lovato says that as her 21st birthday approaches, she is becoming more and more aware of her fragility around alcohol and other substances.
“Sorry, but those rockers in the '80s were the furthest thing from rock stars,” the X Factor judge told Cosmopolitan . “They were so insecure and so lonely that they had to do these things to get them through the day. If you're spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That's not a badass.”
“Being a badass is handling your shit," the singer said, before elaborating on her thoughts about turning another year older. While turning 21 prompts huge celebration for some, Lovato is approaching the milestone with a mature perspective.
"I look at birthdays as celebrating another year of life,” she said. “You've made it another year. An entire year. Some people don't make it to 21.”
Image: Fox