Before you get too excited, I have to inform you that Amazon is sold out of this 32-ounce jug of “Wolf Urine Lure.” As for what exactly it’s meant to lure…well, I’m not sure. But the reviewers have some ideas. (In fact, so many great ideas that I couldn’t fit nearly enough of them here—check out the 45 other reviews for a laugh! It’s organic, it’s great for drug tests, and it’s a bargain.)
Photo Courtesy of Amazon
The label is from “Deerbusters,” and most reviewers agree that the “Lure” is really meant to keep things away—except the two who think it “lures” in the hair…
Meg: My hair has never been so thick but... “My little shitzu kept using our $3,000 Persian silk sheets as a toilet. A friend of mine recommended I use wolf pee to keep Fluffy away from the linen closet. Well, after a week I have consumed the entire 32 ounces and she is STILL peeing on my sheets. NEVER BUY THIS PRODUCT.”
Okay, to be honest, I’m not really sure how drinking the Wolf Urine and the dog in the linen closet are connected. But there are more logical reviews!
Piggywissle: “Washes windows, cleans drains, flavors tea, removes hair, kills cats, cools engines, facilitates conversations with God, can be frozen to build ice-castles, cleans fish tanks, smells nice, isn't flammable, provides hours of interesting conversation, fertilizes plants, regrows hair, moistens tissues, colors white linens, sequesters deer souls into inter-dimensional holding tanks, manages economic portfolios, creates beautiful hues of yellow dye, makes the microwave more powerful, can stop the sun, restores life to animals that weigh(ed) less than 1250 g, and may, in combination with formaldehyde, prevent tooth decay.”
All right, that wasn’t really logical, just epic. So Walter Kamiat offered a desperate plea: “Deer are eating EVERYTHING. I've tried hot pepper spray, rotted eggs, Liquid Fence, dried blood, coyote urine, planting things they don't like (although eventually I think the like every things). They are still lounging on my lawn and eating my tomatoes. Can someone PLEASE offer a serious review of this stuff?
Well, Mr. Kamiat, you’re in luck. South Carolinian has a response for that.
“At first the stench was a little too much to bear and I wondered how anyone could use this stuff. But then the very first night I received so many compliments. I put a little behind my ears/ on my neck right before a date and this stuff gets me laid 95% of the time.”
Ladies, this may be the next great gift for that difficult man in your life.