Once upon a time, long long ago, when a producer named Steven Bochco was in his prime, ABC aired a show known as Cop Rock . What was this Cop Rock you ask?
A musical police drama.
No, you didn’t misread that, and it’s a good thing if you’re having a hard time understanding that sentence, because I’m having a hard time figuring out why such a thing ever existed. But without it there wouldn’t be the innumerable stupid Amazon reviews for me to bring to you today.
Before I rip into the reviews, though, let’s just put this in context. Here’s a clip from the 1990 flop:
Yep, that’s for real. I kid you not, it ran for 11 episodes to, apparently, rave reviews. On Amazon, Cop Rock has 4.7 stars, with 34 five-star reviews and one very confused one-star review. Any and all of the 34 reviews are mind-bogglingly funny, but here are a few, well, best hits.
From “Harry Lit,” “Innovative TV, WAY ahead of its time”
“Steven Bocho (NYPD Blues, Hill Street Bues) created a show that TV just wasn't ready for television. It astonishes me how some crappy "stuff" can get immortality status by being pressed onto DVD yet this unusual and "Spectacular, Spectacular" musical cop TV show still sits in the ABC network vault.
Imagine if you would "Hill Street Blues" meets "Fame" through in a piece of "The Shield" and add a dash of "Moulan Rouge" as well as the Tony winning "The Life" and that pretty much sums it up.
"It ain't over till the fat lady sings" and I'm patiently waiting for her to belt out this brilliant show's premiere on DVD.”
Spelling failures aside, the fact that this reviewer was still, in 2005, waiting for a release of that awful music tells you how delusional these fans truly are. Or maybe they’re just a little out of touch with reality, because “J. Rosenberg” wrote
“Cop Rock was so ahead of its time, I betcha if it came out anew today it would be one of the hippest and most celebrated things on TV…I think today's more adventurous TV audiences would be amazed to discover a show of this quality that was completely missed at the time…This show would be a cult favorite if only people could get to see it again. We're waiting....”
Cult favorite, maybe. Hip? Well, add the fact that “hip” hasn’t really been a popular describer since the 1940s to the 90s hair those cops have and I’m pretty sure the end result is something more along the lines of bewilderment.
But I’ve been wrong before, and I might be wrong now, because a reviewer posted this past Friday, August 30 2013:
“Must have. NOW. The music was great. Better than Glee. This is what Glee would like to be. Why oh why was it cancelled? Why oh why can't I get it on DVD?”
Am I wrong? Am I the delusional one, while the reviewers have hit upon a show of pure gold? Please tell me in the comments below, and in the meantime I’ll just leave this here for you readers to enjoy, because, as “Dr. Carole J. Garrison” says, “This was the real cop show; it may have been quirky but it got to the heart and soul of law enforcement.”