As the majority of you know (or are about to discover through binge-watching), Sherlock is a fantastic BBC show that tells the story of Sherlock Holmes in the modern day. Which is why Sherlock: Season 3 on Amazon is packed with great reviews.
So what could possibly be funny about great reviews of a great show? Everything lines up! Well, in this case, it’s not so much the stupid reviews as it is stupid Amazon. As those of you who are in the know have already realized, Sherlock: Season 3 isn’t out yet. There was a long break between Season 2 and Season 3, as everyone suddenly figured out the awe-inspiring capabilities of costars Benedict Cumberbatch (Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness and the dragon in all movies of The Hobbit ) and Martin Freeman (lead roles in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and The Hobbit ). That means Season 3 hasn’t even been made yet.
Nevertheless, fans have given it 4.5/5 stars in anticipation of its release, sometime in 2014 for U.S. viewers.
From “London Fog,” “Amazon, Thou Hast Foresaken The Fangirls”
“Imagine my shock and delight when, during my peregrinations within the depths of Amazon, I came across the most glorious sight a Sherlock starved mortal might ever dare to set her eyes upon - a DVD for series three! "O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' (s)he chortled in his (her) joy!"
An air date, thought I, *must* be impending! Oh, spoilery 'Last Vow' pics , how you tore the very heart from my chest, stomped upon it, and rolled it in broken glass. And Charles Augustus Magnussen, how you didst cause me to squeee in the most undignified fangirlish delight - might the 'rat' not be thee, but the sort which spreads bubonic plague by its fleas! A mere twenty-four dollars shall pre-order a copy for me!
And then I recalled that while Mr Cumberbatch frivols the time away on holiday, episode three has not yet begun filming. Surely, Amazon/BBC, you would not toy with the delicate sensibilities of The Fandom That Waited??? It seems, however, that before the filming has even been completed, us poor Sherlock starved mortals are being tantalized cruelly by The Powers That Be. So, whilst dejected beyond the scope of words, I have, in my infintesmal optimism, decided to award this much anticipated fine British programme five stars in the hopes certain influential indiviguals might be prodded into giving us a 2013 airdate, as compensation for the near fatal coronary coming upon this DVD placeholder has induced.
Please do not disillusion me of this notion. I am a Sherlock/John shipper, and therefore have mastered the art of self deception.”
Of course, such an effusive review requires a response. “RMartin” was quick to provide I'm not reviewing season , since I obviously haven't seen it...I'm reviewing the other review., (sic).
“Bravo, London Fog. Your review has only served to heighten my anticipation for Season 3. Together, we shall both chastise Amazon for its cynical marketing strategy, while simultaneously becoming participants in said strategy. Curious.”
These were both 5-star reviews, but not everyone was so accepting of the joke. Said “Margaret Massey,” in a 1-star review titled “This is just plain mean of Amazon and BBC”
“Season 3 does not exist. There is only 2 seasons. Do not trick people like this. It is not ok.
End of story.”
In other words, the fans and I highly recommend “Sherlock” to you. Watch it!
Photo Courtesy of Amazon