As Americans we have many taboos about sex and sexuality. Even over the past week there was a bill introduced in the House in Montana pushing for the ban of any “provocative clothing” including yoga pants.
With the upsurge of interest in non-traditional sexual practices because of the E.L. James Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and movie, we wanted to be sure our readers were aware of what they could not do in their own states.
In Alaska, it is illegal for moose to have sex on city streets. We’d like to know how anyone is going to stop that from happening!
In Illinois purchasing a reptile must include a warning not to "nuzzle or kiss" them. You know, cause they are so warm and fuzzy.
In Iowa you’ll get in big trouble if a kiss lasts more than 5 minutes. So much for marathon make-out sessions.
Think less-than-happy thoughts walking down the street in Indiana - it’s illegal to sport an erection in public.
In Nebraska, you cannot get married if you have gonorrhea. Seriously, if you can find someone to marry you when you have it, you belong together!
In Haddon Township, New Jersey flirting is illegal. Don’t skip town to San Antonio, Texas, because it’s illegal there too. And in Arkansas flirting can get you jail time.
Tennessee gets pretty strict, not allowing students to hold hands while in school.
While oral sex is considered sodamy and is illegal in Kansas, anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.
In Washington your car can be confiscated simply by giving a sex worker a ride to work in it. But we’re not sure how there are sex workers in Washington since it’s illegal to have sex with a virgin there!
Cats and Dogs in California be warned, in Ventura County you need a permit to have sex. Don’t you wonder how they process the paperwork for those permits?
In Bakersfield, California you must use protection when having sex with Satan. That puts a damper on those warming sensations.
In Texas two pigs cannot have sex on airport property in Kingsville. I wonder if it’s okay for a pig and a moose, cause that’d give Alaskan moose a reason to relocate!
You can’t have sex naked on your front lawn in Bozeman, Montana. But clothed sex seems to be okay.
It’s a prickly situation in Florida where you cannot have sex with porcupines. Men can’t be publicly seen wearing strapless dresses in Miami either. Bummer.
Stock up on curtains in Carlsbad, New Mexico, because you can only have sex in your car if it has them!
Moustached men cannot kiss people in Indiana. Animals are fine to kiss though.
Guns and sex don’t mix in Connersville, Wisconsin, where a man can’t shoot a gun when his partner orgasms. Although the law doesn’t stipulate the finger kind.
Utah is totally okay with you having sex with animals, unless it’s for money. Once you charge you’re in trouble.
In Oregon it’s illegal for a husband to talk dirty during sex. For the wive’s of said husbands, you’re still good to go.
That's all we've got, but share any you've found, or been arrested for doing, below!