Beyonce has never spoken about the miscarriage she suffered two years ago before giving birth to Blue Ivy, although, her husband, Jay-Z, did rap about it in “Glory.” The singer opened up about the tragedy in the new HBO documentary she produced for the network. She promised it would be personal and it appears that she delivered.
“About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,” she says in a scene, reports Us Weekly. “And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.”
She and Jay-Z immediately began looking for names and pictured the baby in her head. But then it took a tragic turn. “I flew back to New York to get my check up -- and no heartbeat,” she explains. “Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”
She remembers going to the studio to write “saddest song I've ever written in my life...And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through.”
According to USA Today, in another scene, Beyonce goes after a rumor that she and Jay-Z had a surrogate carry Blue Ivy, which she calls the “most ridiculous rumor I think I've ever had about me.”
“It's crazy. To think I would be that vain – I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience bringing a child into this world, if you're lucky and fortunate enough to experience that, I would never, ever take that for granted,” she said. “It's the most powerful thing you can do. Especially after losing a child, the pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more to get an opportunity to bring life into the world. It seems like people should have boundaries.”
The documentary, titled Life is But a Dream, also features scenes of Beyonce and Jay-Z vacationing together and she also shares her sonogram. It airs on Feb. 16, just after she performs at the Super Bowl this Sunday.