It seems that everyone is talking about Miley Cyrus’s tongue these days. She is sticking it out on magazine covers, at the Video Music Awards and in everyday life.
As a writer for TheCelebrityCafe.com, I have been studying Miley’s every move. I have defended her VMA performance. I have tried to set her up on dates but I have yet to understand what is up with that tongue.
After many scientific studies and sleepless nights, I think I have cracked the code. These ten hypotheses are possible explanations on why Miley’s tongue always seems to be out of her mouth. Now, I am not a scientist, I’m simply an journalism college student interning for TheCelebrityCafe.com so my science may be slightly off but these options could be true.
Read the list below and help me answer the riddle that is Miley’s tongue.
10. Performing makes Miley hungry so, before she performs, she covers herself in delicious invisible syrup and she is simply licking it off for a meal.
There is a constant pressure to stay skinny in Hollywood. However, all of the twerking that Miley is doing may seem to wear her out. There is only so much a girl can do on a diet.
Because her job is so demanding, she doesn’t have time to have a snack in between sets. Therefore, her “people” invented a invisible syrup that she sticks her face in before every show. Each time she sticks her tongue out she is simply catching a droplet of liquid protein to repower her.
Photo Courtesy of Wiki Commons
9. She is catching flies
Remember a few years ago when Miley released that song, Fly on the Wall? It was simply a cry for help. Miley is addicted to eating flies. She used to be very good at hiding it and only did her fly catching in private but it has gotten so bad that she can’t help herself.
Fly catching is actually a talent of Miley’s as well. She can twerk, sing and have a balanced bug meal all in one performance. In a few years, Miley will release a tell-all book explaining the fly-eating habit and how she overcame it. It will be truly heartwarming and I can’t wait to read it.
8. Like a dog, that is how she sweats
I assume that somewhere in the past, Miley was bitten by a radioactive dog and is slowly having more and more K9 traits. It is a very scary thing to think about but, because they caught the bite so early, she will never truly become man’s best friend. She will simply act like one in certain situations.
Because dogs don’t have sweat glands, Miley lost hers too. Although medicine has advanced, doctors can’t figure out how to replace the singer’s. Because of that, Miley had cut her hair (it was adding too much heat to her head) and begin to wear fewer amounts of clothes. Even with short hair and a limited amount of clothing, she still can’t sweat so she has to pant.
I ❤️ RADIO #wecantstop pic.twitter.com/OcVdqegz2A
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) September 22, 2013
Photo Courtesy of Twitter
7. Because of all of the drugs, that is how she breathes now
Miley is a proud drug user. I’m not judging her for that. However, due to her Disney background, her body couldn’t handle the drugs like a normal person so it severely affected her lungs and ability to breathe. She can no longer breathe through her nose and her mouth. She has to stick out her tongue to breathe.
It is such as sad story. I hope she releases an anti-drug PSA warning kids that, if you do drugs, you will have to breathe with your tongue out.
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) August 24, 2013
Photo Courtesy of Twitter
6. She doesn’t use email so she has to lick all of her stamps
Because the U.S postal service is in such trouble, Miley has taken it upon herself to quit using email and simply use regular paper and pens. She is so considerate that she sends 10,000 letters a day just to make sure that no post office workers in LA lose their jobs.
Since Miley is so kind, she doesn’t even want to bother her staff, friends or family to lick the envelopes for her. She does it all herself. Miley licks 10,000 letters a day and that wears out her tongue to the point that she has to give it some air when she performs or it will dry up and she will stop being able to send those letters.
Photo Courtesy of Wiki Commons
5. She is using her tongue to suck the souls of the paparazzi
Miley has such trouble with the paparazzi that she has found a way to get back at them. Now, I am releasing this secret talent of Miley’s to the public for the first time, so I hope she isn’t angry.
Miley has developed the power to stick out her tongue and slowly suck out the happiness and love from those who are constantly flashing away her picture and bothering her. It takes approximately 20 tongue wags to get one paparazzi. Britney Spears, Brangelina and Lindsey Lohan call her every day to thank her for her services.
Photo Courtesy of MTV
4. There is an alien life form always offering her ice cream that only she can see
Yeah, you read that right. Aliens are real and they are giving Miley free ice cream. These aliens are such fans of Miley’s twerking that they are constantly helping Miley out with everything. They give her free ice cream when she needs it.
Also, as I learned from an exclusive source, those same aliens are the ones pushing her on the wrecking ball in the Wrecking Ball music video. To pay them for pushing her, she had to give them her clothes, which is why in some scenes she had clothes on and in others she didn’t.
3. She’s interviewing for a meteorologist job and needs to constantly check the moisture in the air.
Let’s face it, one day you’re in, one day you’re out. Miley has a backup plan if her acting/singing/twerking career doesn’t work out. She is currently applying for a job as a meteorologist at a local news station. Her tongue is actually used to check the moisture in the air.
Oh, and that foam finger during the VMAs? It was a barometer. She was just trying to prove to her future employer that she can do it all.
Photo Courtesy of Wikicommons
2. She has a really long tongue and it all won’t fit in her mouth
As Miley begins to age, her tongue gets longer and longer. The doctors hope that she will grow into it but they aren’t sure. It is a very scary situation for the young girl, I only hope it works out.
Photo Courtesy of Instagram
1. For attention
I know, it seems impossible that a pop star would do something outrageous so the press would pay attention to her. I had trouble even putting something this outlandish on the list. But it is on it because, when Miley’s tongue leaves her mouth, the press, media and everyone freak out about it. That can’t be a coincidence.
Photo Courtesy of Instagram
The question of Miley’s tongue sticking out is so vast that the answers and guesses couldn’t be listed in a top ten list. If you have any ideas of your own, comment below. Together we can help cure Miley from this terrible tongue situation.